Tuesday, January 27, 2009

An award

The Proximity Award



These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

While I thank Smitha who has bestowed upon me this reward, with a note to give it to 8 others, I would like to take the route that another great blogger RM has taken. Have to admit that I am not as eloquent as Smitha and it is only when the “muse” visits me occasionally that I am able to pen something. Besides, Smitha herself has given the award to many of those bloggers who deserve this award more than me and since there are many more that I love to read, let me give this award to every reader of this blog who patiently hears me out, including Smitha.

P.S. Smitha I am sure you are enjoying your vacation and is too busy to track the awards but needless to say that I truly appreciate your gesture.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Gender Equality and Marriage

I have always favored gender equality when there are many closely associated with me who believes that men are superior to women. It must be my upbringing or maybe the Indian/Hindu culture. I have realized over the years that men and women are equally vulnerable and each deserves no special treatment. A woman can be strong on her own without feigning weakness. When one talks about the empowerment of women, it should never be by making a man weak. Every society needs strong men and women. When men/women are made to be strong they are naturally inclined to help the weaker in the society. So I believe empowerment of women is not the only change we want in our society, we want the men and the women to be equally empowered so that they support each other.

The other day I stumbled upon a blog and Uma Challa who has taken this fight seriously. In addition to fighting for women she fights for the numerous men who are now abused under the various laws brought in the name of women. There are many causes that this organization is fighting to uphold the sanctity of marriage. It may not have been noticed by many regarding NCW’s (NATIONAL COMMISSION of WOMEN) recent proposal to amend Section 125 of Code of Criminal procedure (CrPC) to include women involved in live in relationships to be eligible for alimony. Now I do not have anything against men or women who do not want a marriage certificate but prefer to live-in, but I do believe that this right should not encroach upon those who have taken the marriage vows seriously.

Now coming to the religious text that I should be following as a Christian, and that I am sure many like quoting to make the woman shut her mouth, let me quote the following that I prefer to see.

Gal. 3:28: "There is neither Jew or Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

But for the present, let me be an opportunist and hold onto the Indian/ Hindu culture that I so love rather than my religion to emphasize gender equality.

This has been done beautifully by Uma Challa in her blog:

The inseparability of the male and female entities in the Universe was recognized by Indians as early as the Vedic times. This beautiful sentiment is manifested through the representation of Goddess Parvathi (Uma) and Lord Siva (Maheswara), known as “the parents of the Universe”, as UmaMaheswara or Ardhanareeswara (half-man, half-woman). This representation indicates that while both the female and male forms have their own individual identities and strengths, they are still interdependent. They complement each other and, it is only by combining their individual strengths that they are able to create and nurture life in the Universe. This divine couple is considered by Indians as an example to be emulated by all human beings.



Now I do not care if there are some Indian texts that say otherwise. But how absurd it is when everyone knows that there are certain things the man cannot do and vice verse. So I just cannot understand why it is difficult to accept that they are created in such a way that they are complementary to each other.

Now let me look at the meaning of complementing:

1- Completing part (something that completes or perfects something else)
2- One of two (either of two things that form a unit

Is it not beautiful and right? Something that completes or perfects something else and none is higher or lesser. Both entities are equally important to complete the relationship. And this is what I believe the institution of marriage, which ought to be the pillar of every society is all about.


Let me end this with a poem from Khalil Ghibran on marriage: Khalil has compared the man and woman to the oak and cypress trees or to the pillars of a temple. Now can anyone say which tree or pillar is superior?


You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

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