Every house to become a hotel.....

The Ministry is preparing a draft Bill that would entitle housewives a monthly income from their husbands.

The Bill is likely to be presented before Parliament within six months.

Union Minister for Women and Child Development Krishna Tirath said the proposal was aimed at empowering women.

I am not sure what kind of empowerment she is hoping to achieve from this idiotic move!

Personally, I love to take care of my family. At times I may complain but nothing is perfect in our lives. But the immense satisfaction that I get when I make a healthy and tasty meal cannot be bought. And imagine if my Hubby after one such meal gives me money! It will be like a slap on my face since I then become just a paid maid!

But our Krishna Tirath has this explanation:

“A majority of women in India are involved in household chores after getting married but they do not get any salary for it. The socially accepted behaviour becomes a tragedy when a woman gets divorced or is widowed when she is left with nothing for survival.

So her problem is that divorced or widowed women is left with nothing. Don't we already have laws for paying annuity? And widows are normally entitled to her husband's wealth and government employees even have widow pensions. So what is she up to? Is it because she cannot solve the real issues, like dowry and dowry deaths.

As per the National Crime Records Bureau, the number of dowry deaths have increased in India.

In 2010, 8391 dowry death cases were reported across India, meaning a bride was burned every 90 minutes, according to statistics recently released by the National Crime Records Bureau.

A decade earlier this number was 6995, but climbed to 8093 dowry deaths in 2007.

Dowry, although banned by law in 1961 but never seriously enforced, is an ancient tradition prevalent amongst most Indian families.

Dowry has been banned only in papers but in reality, families continue to pay for a groom. A girl becomes a bride only if she is accompanied by an appropriate dowry, no matter what other educational qualification she holds. The minute a daughter is born, the hapless parent is forced to hoard gold/money so that he can purchase a groom for his daughter. Some people say that dowry is so ingrained in the hearts of the Indians that it cannot be done away with and for some it is a matter of pride! This pride is alright for the rich and the upper middle class but for those below, it is never a matter of pride but it is only out of necessity that a dowry is paid. No dowry means the girl shall stay at home. And for this the parents stop enjoying their lives so that their daughter can have a life. Even then this life is not always guaranteed. And now if she needs to be paid too then the marriage is already in the rocks. And how in the world are they planning to monitor? If monitoring is such an easy task, then why don't they monitor dowry and domestic violence? Even men are being harassed these days.

And if pocket money is the real issue then why don't a fixed amount of money be kept in the bank under the bride's name soon after marriage? This can serve multiple purpose. This is being done everywhere these days since dowry was stopped. The parents transfer the "dowry" to the bank under the name of the daughter. She can then decide to spend it the way she likes.

In my opinion this "salary" to be paid after marriage is as demeaning as the dowry that is being paid before marriage. Unless one stops treating a bride and groom as commodities in the market nothing is going to change. Treat a girl as just another human being and give her all the education that is possible. Solve problems like female foeticide and try to change the cultural attitude of Indians that make them take dowry, kill baby girls, yearn for baby boys over girls and then maybe everything shall be solved. Instead, please don't come up with ridiculous solutions that shall solve no problem but is like pouring oil over already troubled waters.

And why?

One thought education and means would save our girls. But the latest report by The Lancet tells us that it is those mothers with lesser education and wealth but with a better sense of responsibility who seems to be saving our girls.

The conditional sex ratio for second-order births when the firstborn was a girl fell from 906 per 1000 boys (99% CI 798–1013) in 1990 to 836 (733–939) in 2005; an annual decline of 0•52% (p for trend=0∙002).

Declines were much greater in mothers with 10 or more years of education than in mothers with no education, and in wealthier households compared with poorer households. By contrast, we did not detect any significant declines in the sex ratio for second-order births if the firstborn was a boy, or for firstborns.


Between the 2001 and 2011 censuses, more than twice the number of Indian districts (local administrative areas) showed declines in the child sex ratio as districts with no change or increases. After adjusting for excess mortality rates in girls, our estimates of number of selective abortions of girls rose from 0–2•0 million in the 1980s, to 1•2–4•1 million in the 1990s, and to 3•1–6•0 million in the 2000s. Each 1% decline in child sex ratio at ages 0–6 years implied 1•2–3•6 million more selective abortions of girls. Selective abortions of girls totalled about 4•2–12•1 million from 1980–2010, with a greater rate of increase in the 1990s than in the 2000s.

We did not yet see any clear evidence of selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses. This is partly because India does not enforce a one-child policy, which led to the selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses in China. However, selective abortions of first-order girls might increase if fertility drops further, particularly in urban areas.

The following maps are from the 2011 Census report.

Country wise Child Sex Ratio in age 0-6 (Year 2001 vs 2011)

Ranked State/UT wise for Year 2011

Ranked distict wise for Year 2011

Even Kerala’s sex ratio within the 1-6 range is declining.

Has Kerala too started killing their girls?

With the Indian setup in mind, it would not be fair to blame just the mother since the decision making and even power seldom rests with the mother alone in most households. Yet, let me blame those mothers who are educated and have financial means, since they have failed to exercise their position. They have succumbed to the cultural norms and failed to curb an evil practice when they could.

It is time the educated women in India stopped blaming men alone for all the woes.

What have these mothers gained from education if they fail to love/protect their own lot. Why have they failed to give a chance to girls like themselves? Is it the mother in India who yearns for a boy child more than the father?

And if education alone will not curb this, then only jail terms shall.

The Indian Government implemented a Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act in 1996 to prevent the misuse of techniques for the purpose of prenatal sex determination leading to selective abortion of girls.22 It is unlikely that this Act has been effective nationally because few health providers have been charged or convicted.

But this act has not been effective:

Furthermore, the PNDT Act itself provides scanty information about what penalties would apply either to doctors performing s*x determination tests or to in-laws and family members forcing women to seek them.

And these tests are still done under different pretexts and the information conveyed in “innovative” ways. Even sign languages!

'Laddu' Means A Boy, `Barfi' A Girl A `V' sign would normally mean `victory'. But in some northern States of the country, a doctor uses this sign after ultrasonograhpy of a pregnant woman to indicate, "Voila, it's a son!''

If the doctor asks the patient to come back on a Friday, it means it is a girl she is carrying and she should return for an abortion. And if he says, "Let's meet on Monday'', it means its going to be a boy.

"Our planners and policy makers have not understood the grip of the son complex in Indian society, nor have our sociologists and behavioural scientists done enough research on the subject,'' the study notes.

The study, which covered Kurukshetra in Haryana, Fateh Saheb in Punjab and Kangra district in Himachal Pradesh, categorically states that female foeticide was the result of an unholy alliance between the traditional preference for a son and modern medical technology, increasing greed of doctors and rising the demand for dowry that makes daughters financial burdens.

One of the main reasons that the PNDT Act has failed is "because of the connivance of doctors in s*x determination and selective abortions." These procedures have become lucrative business for many of India's medical practitioners.

For further reading.

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/pre-natal-diagnosis-test-act-1519.asp
http://www.thelancet.com/
http://www.censusindia.gov.in/2011census/training/district_pdf_search/district_pdf.aspx

International Day of the Girl Child

Yesterday, September 24th was celeberated as the International Day of the Girl Child without much fanfare..

Unlike other “International days”, there is nothing much in this day for creating any fanfare.

No cards nor gifts to gift anyone and hence none to sell them.

Many of those girl children who survived in this world still live a life with not much recognition.

But then there are many who never saw the light only because she was meant to be born as a girl.

We let a caring sister, wife, mother, grandmother die a premature death.


The world saw in 2005 through the eyes of Dr. Hoa Phuong Tran(one among many) the below:

A study in India of seven hundred pregnant women undergoing a genetic amniocentesis test revealed that less than one in twenty of the women who were informed they were carrying a daughter actually continued with thepregnancy3. Female foeticide is a direct result of deep-rooted discriminatory attitudes and women’s perceived low worth. When I first went to India some years ago, I was shocked to discover that even though the Government had banned the payment of dowry, in poor areas, the practice still dominates the life and the mindset of virtually all poor families. Hence the belief that girls are a burden of little worth.

An excerpt from Gender - The view from below*
Prepared by
Dr. Hoa Phuong Tran

And we continue to see it not only among the poor but also among the affluent and from one city to another it is spreading like cancer.

Report says girl child not wanted in Bangalore

IANS
24 Sep 2008 02:51:00 PM IST

BANGALORE: As the world observed International Day of the Girl Child Wednesday, India's IT hub presented a poor picture of itself with a Karnataka government report indicating declining child sex ratio.


The ratio in Karnataka has fallen drastically from 960 to 946 between 1991 and 2001, when the last census was conducted.

The ratio stood at 954 in rural areas and 939 in urban areas. Bangalore has a ratio of 941, much lower than some poorer districts like Kolar, in its neighbourhood and Bidar in north Kanataka. The national average is 927/1000, according to 2001 Census.


Is it not time to wake up?

Kerala and its ratio

Maddy's comments set me thinking why Kerala has a better ratio though I have no answer as to why the development of the state is not in par. Of course we end up with the answer: because it has high literacy. So is education the key? But then selective abortion has started among the educated Keralites too as per reports.

But yet Kerala is still ahead of the rest of the states. Maybe because of the Marumakkathayam system which was prevalent ealier? According to Wikipedia “Marumakkathayam" is a matrilinear system of inheritance followed by castes of Kerala like some Brahmin families (Payanoor Nambootiris)[citation needed] , Ambalavasis, Royal /Nair families, some Ezhavas, upper class Mappilas in Kerala state, south India. It is exceptional in the sense that it was one of the few traditional systems that gave women liberty, and right to property. Under this system, women enjoyed respect, prestige and power. In the matrilinear system, the family lived together in a tharavadu which comprised of a mother, her brothers and younger sisters, and her children. The oldest male member was known as the karanavar and was the head of the household and managed the family estate. Lineage was traced through the mother, and the children "belonged" to the mother's family. All family property was jointly owned. In the event of a partition, the shares of the children were clubbed with that of the mother. The karanavar's property was inherited by his nephews and not his sons.

Here the most important aspect to be noted is that a woman was given liberty and right to property. She enjoyed respect, prestige and power while at the same time the oldest male member was the head of the household.

Then again another point is that due to the education imparted , the Kerala girls are able to earn for themselves. They were ready to go beyond their own states and even to other coutries (Gulf, US etc) to support their families. I guess this made them an asset rather than a liablity and hence they were let to live!

The poor Girl child...

We had an interesting discussion on the government incentive for “Girl child”. This scheme looks like a good step but then there always the other side of it..and though it sounds brash, don’t we all feel like doing what Raj is suggesting?

“
Of course, it would be nice if some (real) effort was made in educating the population about these issues. I just think it is sad to have to bribe the parents for letting a girl child live.
If I could have it my way, I would wait till the parents apply for the REWARD (sheesh) gather them all together, take the kids from them and shoot these bloody pathetic pricks.


and this was the comment from KK

“
stupid concepts we have in our country.

For every damn thing in our country we need to give soaps, subsidies or bribes..whatever you call it...

for farmers, you waive 60,000 crore worth of loans...you could keep aside at least one crore to educate farmers on better farming techniques, for creating new markets....

for the girl child, you want to pay for every child leading to crores and crores of rupees to swindle for this government and many more to come...you could try getting tough on dowry seekers....you could instead get the females more secured high paying jobs which will show the society even women can be better bread earners. You could try educating the new generation youth of the villages that women are progressing...

You could do a million things to secure a better future...

you know what Jayalalitha did for the girl child?
I think it was a novel idea...she launched a scheme to place a cradle in every district, town and village of Tamil Nadu and told the people..don't kill the child..leave her in the cradle and the government will take care of it......

Let us hope for the best...

It is happy news indeed.

In an effort to set right the country’s skewed gender ratio, Women and Child Development Minister Renuka Chowdhary today launched a ‘Conditional cash Transfer for Girl Child with Insurance Cover (CCT)’ scheme here

I really pray that the government machinery will perform without any hitch to get this through.

India will pay families to have girls to end foeticide

Highlights:

Families in seven states are set to benefit from a series of cash payments amounting to 15,500 rupees (£193) to poor families to keep their girl children.

As an extra incentive any girl who reaches 18 will get a further 100,000 rupees (£1,200) provided she has completed her school education and is not married.

Of course this will not solve all the problems since as reported, in states like Punjab, it is the rich who selectively abort female fetus and the poor are just copying them. So for this, the government is considering giving life sentences to doctors convicted of the offence.

This and that..

Indrani Ghose commented that we are back to slave trade and that brought to my mind the human trading that still exists in our modern civilization. The trading of grooms. Earlier it was the beauty of the girl that set the price but now the credentials of the bride doesn’t matter at all. Let her be beautiful, educated or whatever, only the groom matters. In Kerala, I think a Doctor (with specialization and not MBBS) still fetches the highest price. The only reason why some are willing to spend half a crore or more to secure admission to a medical college. But in the Middle East it works the other way round. The groom needs to pay for the bride which should bring solace to those in India!



The dowry system in India still remains the greatest evil to marriage. As it is, there is a growing hatred towards marriage from the current generation and some of them prefer to have live-in relationships instead. With the increase in income, they can afford to move out from their own family and live a life they deem is comfortable. I am not saying that marriage is all roses and honey, not when I sometimes feel like Jack the Ripper in my mind, ripping the head of you know who? But it is the best one for now, unless one believes that a planet like K-Pax really exists. I am sure some of you remember the movie starred by Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges. Prot, the man who claims to have come from K-Pax says that they don’t have marriages in K-Pax. They all belong to one big society or planet. One may father a child but it does not belong to him since the child will be brought up by everyone. It may sound great, but Prot himself points out that at K-Pax no one misses anyone. I guess marriage and later a family is all about looking out for each other. A baby sitting facility can never do the same job of a parent, how much strong the commitment is. In a family, you have your parents and your siblings to look out for you and care for you. You have that unique sense of belonging which only a family set up can give you. To get this and more if it requires a license from the society, then it is worth it. But the current society which includes me doesn’t have the patience to try out this system which has survived for centuries.

This also brings to my mind the growing impatience with child rearing. I know of many couples who have aborted their babies since they were either not ready or they have a first one and the second came sooner. They don’t mind spending their money on themselves but spending on their child becomes a burden.

Talking of abortion takes me yet again to female foeticide and I appreciate the effort done by Roop Rai at Unchaahi: the Unwanted .

Education is what we need against this evil.

The unwanted Girl Child

India is developing they say… at least it has the right not to be called a third world country.. or am I wrong?

Just because we have elected a female as our President has it in anyway uplifted the women. Is it not just an eye wash?

a. Female foetuses are still being killed
b. Dowry deaths still exists

The other day I read the news that bags of body parts belonging to female foetus were found dumped in a well. I waited for further news and hoped the media would keep up the tempo. But no.. it died a premature death by itself. Why is the whole country silent on this? How do they hope to produce sons without letting a girl live? Or have our great scientists come with some great plans which can do away with the mother and her womb? It is indeed sad to note that it is the educated lot who are doing this. Why? As a mother don’t they feel bad when their baby is crushed to death in the womb? Let us leave the uneducated for a moment and look at those educated couples who are now enjoying good jobs with high salaries. What prompts them to choose a boy over a girl? What are they being taught in classes? Where has it gone wrong?

I think we need stricter and sterner rules. A couple who goes for abortion should be booked for murder. I welcome the idea of registration as soon as a child is conceived so that the birth can be recorded. At least it puts pressure on the couple. The state should find means to monitor every clinic and hospitals and the fees for scanning should be increased. In any case it is only rarely that a medical condition requires scanning (at least this is what I think) or the equipment should be made very costly so that only major hospitals can have the same. This will help monitoring easier. A special license should be given to doctors who are allowed to conduct abortions.

I still don’t know for what reasons abortion is required. There are many justifications – rape, unwanted pregnancy etc. etc. We end up aborting innocent babies for our faults, for our irresponsibility’s. If a child has been conceived, it has every right to live and it is up to every law in the country to ensure the life of the unborn.

Our Presidents don’t wield much power or they have no power at all. But this is the first time that we have a woman for a president. I hope she will at least do something on this major issue that is slowly dulling the conscience of the major lot. Please let the girl child live

X & Y Chromosome

The other day we ended up having a heated discussion on a forum. One forum member had commented on a newspaper report: how a husband killed his wife since she failed to produce a male child. I made the mistake of commenting that a man is responsible in determining the gender. I realized my mistake when the male members became so touchy and nervous! What I actually meant to write was that the woman has no role to play while it is from the man that the gender is decided. Of course even he cannot decide either, unless technology progress in such a way that the particular chromosome is isolated to produce the required gender.
I guess God was smart when he made it thus but I am sure he never thought that a man / woman would be so cruel as to kill a baby in its womb itself.
I am talking about the disturbing number of female foetus being killed in India. Soon in some states the gender ratio will be so bad that every girl would need to be protected by a black cat. Eve teasing would increase (there r less girls to ogle at!).. and maybe like the Arab culture boys will finally have to pay for a bride!