Milestones

Our life is measured by milestones and the majority of us cannot escape it's hold on us. When we are born, our parents count the milestones. Our first word, first steps, and it goes on until one is put in school. And from there, we take over the counting. As children, all we ever wanted to do want was play. I can still remember the excitement and the anticipation that one had when the time came to play. In those days it used to be any game and mostly outside. And then we ourselves started to give more importance to the milestones and forgot to enjoy the journey itself.

One such milestone happened in my life too; our daughter's marriage. Only when the time started to plan the wedding ceremony did it dawn upon me that she will soon leave to start her own family. Yes... I panicked and lost sleep too. I wanted to have more of her in the short that time that one had which was impossible. 

I try telling others to enjoy the time when they have their baby or when they are going to school. But then there is no use, since all are counting milestones and only a few are lucky to enjoy all the lovely moments in between.

Letting go

My mind is foggy these days. It takes a long time to recall names of places and people. Maybe I should blame it on Covid or vaccines? There are so many blame games going on these days and it is hard to catch up with it all. And even if you catch up with it, the next one comes up. Is the world spinning faster for the young too or just for folks like me?

It is going to be one year since my Mother left this world and this can definitely be blamed upon Covid. Now she smiles at me from my bedside table, silent as always. When I lose sleep some days, I make her take trips with me as a child. They say you grow up finally when you lose your mother. Am not sure though. But she can still bring tears to my eyes like a child. Maybe out of regret. For all the times that one never had with her, thinking that she is going to be in this world forever. How stupid we are!!

But death is inevitable and one should not dwell upon it since this world is spinning fast. You keep listening to people asking you to grab each day and enjoy each moment. Do you? I try to. 

They say the trauma of death brings the rest closer to each other. I believed too, until I realized that some things can never be changed. It is best to accept and let go. 

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than hanging on. – Eckhart Tolle

Memories

Realized it is more than a year since I wrote on these pages. Twitter stopped me from writing and now Netflix from reading. Yes.. silly justifications. But we are all human and prone to temptations and the real reason I am on these pages is something different. I forgot our wedding anniversary and realized that my mind is full and needs to be emptied.

There are two Asha's in my college whatsapp group and when I saw the anniversary wishes I assumed it was for the other but then remembered that the other Asha celebrated hers only recently. That is when I saw my name written. How did I forget?

My mind is preoccupied with various issues beyond my control. Daughter out of Covid infection but still showing some after effects. A visa which ought to have arrived earlier. A pain in the leg which refuses to leave my better half. 

Last night my mind freed itself and went on a trip elsewhere for a short while. My first visit to Kodaikanal was during my school days and with the local Lions Club members. A bus was hired and we had a lovely trip. I still remember stopping for lunch, the roads to Kodai that had a stretch of tamarind trees. Our stay was in a bungalow belonging to one of the members or their relative. It was way up on the hills and had a good view. We visited almost all the touristic spots and Kodai was a beauty those days. Suicide point, Coaker's walk and many others. Maybe one reason I remember this trip more is because my mother asked us children to write down about the trip. Probably my first travel memoir. 

My next trip to Kerala now has one more task. To find out the journal which has recorded our travel memories. Need to take a copy of all that is left of those wonderful childhood memories. 

It is a different world out there now with the internet and the facility to visit any part of the world without even moving an inch. For that matter, now everything is being done without leaving your chair. My son plays with the same ardor but only inside, with all his gadgets. I remember how he used to skip even his lunch to play with his friends while in school. All those lovingly packed lunch would be returned until I was forced to forgo it altogether. My daughter attends her classes while in her bed. Can hear the teachers with different accents giving the lectures. I engage in silly debates from people sitting God knows where, without ever leaving my chair.

Yes.. it is different world out there and sometimes we get lost.

Marriageable age

This vacation I realized that one can no longer ignore the fact my daughter is of marriageable age. She is now working and people have started to ask us if we are looking out for her. The society has fixed certain age for the same and many fall into it. Daughter says she wants to work and make some money before she gets married while we are not in a hurry too. I mean what more can a mother ask for? Daughter is at home and one can enjoy her presence longer. Some of us had to leave home after 10th and then it was only for short visits that one could stay with the parents. These days many are refusing to marry too or by the time they think they are ready the bus is already gone. But I see no regrets in them. 

Anyway let me see how long she will....

Paradeshi or a wanderer...

We are all paradeshikals or wanderers.

Am yet to meet someone who has stayed put in one place all his/her life. For instance, my parents stayed at more than four places before they retired and built their house which they can now call their home for real. I stayed at two places until my 10th and then after my parents retired the home that I grew up was no longer my home. Later I  moved to my husband's place and then Kuwait. Initially we moved three flats and then settled into one, from the time our daughter was six months old until she finished 12th and almost finished her degree. Since their school was only a walking distance we stayed put. Finally we shifted to a new place which is now my home though am not sure how long.

When I go on vacation to my present home in Kerala, I live out of my suitcase knowing that the return ticket is ever present.

But then nothing is permanent in this world although one does not think so while accruing wealth and property. There are many who buy gold or property hoping to enjoy it later. When is that ever to come? Maybe it shall come for their children but not for them. The house that we build may last until our death and then it is no longer fashionable or convenient for our children if any. That reminded me that too many are migrating from my home state. As long as their parents were alive they visited the country but then came along a day when the visit was only to dispose off the property. While the parents wait to leave this world, the children wait to sell whatever the parents build in their lifetime. Is it a wasteful exercise? Some say it is but how many?

Maybe it is better to stay out of the suitcase without getting attached to any place. This may stop one from accumulating stuff that is not letting you enjoy your present life. Eat, love and enjoy the present moment and then maybe all your days on earth shall be good.

And time flies....

Landed on this page accidently and thought why not jot a few lines. Am sure just like me those who followed me too have abandoned this blog :).

Daughter is back with us and has now joined as a trainee. She comes home tired and the other day heard her asking her father how I manage my cooking after work. Am sure she never realized it until now. Even I was just like her at her age and was much reluctant to spend time in the kitchen. But now am a seasoned cook and a homemaker. Somewhere along the way I even started enjoy cooking! Maybe it is the urge to eat tasty food and to serve it to others. Daughter cooks too and very tastefully. But now she is very busy.

Out here Summer is at it's peak and I read cities in India are running out of water. It seems more cities will join by the year 2020. It is a dismal scene and will be disastrous if immediate action is not taken. Think it is time for India to declare water emergency.

An impending water crisis on a scale hitherto unrecorded in recent history is predicted by 2020. Unless some miracle happens, it would mean groundwater touching zero by next year in 21 cities nationwide. That such a catastrophe was waiting to happen was known. In fact, this very alarming prognosis was underlined in the Composite Water Management Index (CWMI) report released by NITI Aayog in 2018. But it failed to attract the attention it deserved, given the national preoccupation with the recently concluded general elections.

https://www.thehindubusinessline.com/opinion/columns/from-the-viewsroom/the-water-emergency/article28117923.ece

The best way to develop an efficient water cycle is to reuse it whenever and wherever possible. For instance, you can collect water from washing veggies and fruits and reuse it for watering the garden.

Using recycled water for flushing can help bring down your water bills by 30-40 per cent. Collect water from your RO filters in a container and reuse it to wash utensils or mop the floor.

Trap rainwater by installing Rain Water Harvesting systems and reuse it during summers when taps in many Indian cities run dry. It’s not as expensive as you think and can even be retrofitted on an existing house.

https://www.thebetterindia.com/175497/save-water-conservation-home-world-water-day-india/

Monsoon in Kerala this year is weak and last year's flood has disrupted the ground water table too. It is time to count every drop and save.....

Screeeeeeeeeeeech!

As a kid or as an adult one may have experienced the exciting feeling during a ride on a giant wheel or a roller coaster or even plain sliding on a smooth floor, until it stops suddenly with a screech or maybe soundlessly. It is only you who experienced it until you join the rest who walks around normally. It is this same feeling that I now experience after both the kids have flown the nest. It was an exciting, never stopping, nerve wracking experience similar to a giant wheel or a roller coaster. You chose it and then something or someone took control of everything. All you could do was either enjoy, scream, laugh or even cry. But now that I am out of it, it is like standing alone and trying to make a sense of it all. You are back on solid ground. But what do you do?

Still trying to figure out what I shall do.. maybe the world will throw me something or maybe I would need to grab something myself.

One day..

One day.. this is the small voice inside the head of each expat in the Gulf region. This day may come for some unexpectedly, when only their dead bodies reach their homeland.  A few others make this day come sooner by their meticulous planning, but for the majority this day remains in the head only, until certain circumstances force them to meet that day in their homeland. It might come as a job loss or the urgent requirement of a loved one back home or old age itself.

Our son too will soon fly the nest since his board exam is about to get over the coming week.  This makes me think about that “one day” pretty often.  I was never a good planner and always had to take life as it came. So guess even this “one day” if ever it comes and whenever it comes may end up the same way! Yet, why should I not dream? So this post is only to poke my conscious later and hope that it may nudge me to action.

It is not a lofty dream either..not at all. It is only to grow a vegetable garden and maybe have a few hens, fish? and maybe a cow and a few ducks…. Hah! Not sure why on Facebook I always land up on such pages so as to get all such ridiculous ideas! This is surely not for the lazy ones and for those who would prefer to sit in front of the idiot box instead. I may end up as such a person too, so let me just jot down to jolt me later.

Imagine growing a lemon tree indoors? Read it here 

I do have a very very small collection of plants out here but the issue is that once we leave for our summer vacation it needs to be shifted to some place where it can be looked after during our absence.

Other than normal gardening, I stumbled upon Hydroponics and Aquaponics systems. Tried the latter at home but am yet to succeed. Aquaponics interests me more since you can have fishes too in the bargain. My colleague told me about a friend of his who returned to Kerala and is now successfully managing it in only a cent of land! He dug a small pond, spread a tarpaulin sheet which extended a feet or two around the pond. Then he spread broken rocks on this extended space to plant vegetables. The pond was used to grow fish and the water was brought out  at fixed times with the aid of a pump to flow through these rocks back into the pond. The nutrients in this water was enough for the vegetables to grow and there was not much loss in water too. One only need to feed the fish. 

Hydroponics is a subset of hydroculture and is a method of growing plants using mineral nutrient solutions, in water, without soil. Terrestrialplants may be grown with their roots in the mineral nutrient solution only or in an inert medium,such as perlite or gravel.

Aquaponics is a food production system that combines conventional aquaculture (raising aquatic animals such as snails,fish, crayfish or prawns in tanks) with hydroponics (cultivating plants in water) in a symbiotic environment. In normal aquaculture, excretionsfrom the animals being raised can accumulate in the water, increasing toxicity. In an aquaponic system, water from an aquaculture system is fed to a hydroponic system where the by-products are broken down by nitrification bacteria into nitrates and nitrites, which are utilized by the plants as nutrients. The water is then recirculated back to the aquaculture system.

The following video shows a successful Aquaponics system in Kerala https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=636542556468002

Source:

http://theaquaponicsource.com/aquaponics-vs-hydroponics/

Animals

I was fortunate to grow up with pets and there were times when our house could be pictured for the nursery rhyme "Old MacDonald had a farm"! There were ducks, hens, cows, goats, pigs, more than one dog, a clowder of cats and even a monkey! And it was the companion of a pet that I missed most after my books when I first landed here in Kuwait. But since I was too busy bringing up my kids, I somehow put down the urge to have a pet. When the kids were a little bigger, we had our first pet. A few love birds. It was fun watching them preen and croon to each other. One of them even hatched a few eggs but the chicks died for some reasons. The last one died after I handed it over to my friend when we went for vacation. The next was a hamster who was fun as long as it did not chew the wires of the speakers! The fellow was doing fine until daughter brought another one from her friend. She was an aggressive one and was forever fighting and injuring the poor fellow. But we had to hand over them to a friend while we went on vacation and they died either due to the extreme heat or because of the constant fights. 

And then she seduced us with her ways and captured our hearts. 

She was not really a stray cat but was looked after by this girl in one of the flats in our building. She waited for me when I returned from work and then just plopped down under the sofa. A very fuzzy eater and hence was hard to feed her. But if you meet her outside with her friends she gave no signs of recognition! She was the typical selfish cat!

Before we left for our vacation, I found her forever sleeping and now I realize why! As soon as our luggage was hauled up we found her lugging one kitten after another and dropping them under our bed! I am not sure how she knew we were back from our vacation! Three beautiful kittens and they were just a week old!

And then it became our job to open the door to let her out whenever she wanted! She found means to wake us up even from our deepest sleep. Luckily, during the day she decided to stay inside until the kids came back from school.

And the other day it was just another trip for her while the kittens stayed with us and since we were busy watching a movie ( a little loud I think), we missed hearing her call us to open the door. Someone had harmed her and her front legs were all cut and her beautiful face all blackened! I cannot understand how some can harm animals! I have seen little children do it and have wondered if it was out of fear or just to see the fear in the eyes of the animal. Or was it a car? We are still not sure.

We left her at home while she nursed her wound. Initially she refused to feed her kittens and we hoped she will be alright after a day or two. Right now she is much better, but two of the kittens have died. Now only one remain!

This reminded me of the guide who took us on our trek in Gavi. He explained to us why men are called animals when they turn cruel. He said animals are never as cruel as men and it was wrong to give this name to a man. Only men can be cruel while animals only try to protect themselves. According to him, the only two stupid animal in the forest are the wild buffalo and the boar. They are the only ones who may attack you without any reason. And rightfully dumb humans are called buffalos! or in Malayalam "Pothe"! It was good to see the love this young chap had for the forest and it's original dwellers. He is part of the group of Sri Lankans who were forced to flee during the troubled times. Indian government let them stay inside these forests where they act as guides and also contribute towards cardamom cultivation. They don't own lands and some of them have left this place for good.

Here is something I wrote decades ago during my troublesome teen years and when animals gave me the right kind of solace.

Animals

I feel those who don't like animals miss a lot of fun and solace in this life. To me, they make up most of my happy moments. They show me a different world, a beautiful place of innocence, of loyalty, of unselfishness too. They can teach us human beings a lot, a lot we ignore.

A kitten, so cute and playful! When I see it lift it's paws playfully, I feel so happy in seeing it's beauty. At that moment it looks as though God has bestowed upon it, all the beauty and sweetness in this world. It's eyes all round and it's body all fluffy and soft. The cat, the way it stretches itself, so tempting, so sensuous! No wonder a lady is complimented as sensuous as a cat! It has got that attractiveness which just pulls you. You just have to hold it. They have that royal look, that untouched grace.

A dog, ever loving and faithful. Ever ready to please you. It is so happy when you notice it, when you touch it, when you pet it. That is the most important thing that they yearn from their masters. That look which somehow tells them that we care. That trust in their eyes. Oh those beautiful brown eyes! The loving licks it give you.  And it asks not much in return. Have you seen it's happiness upon seeing you back from a trip? Can any human being replicate that happiness? 

People should never miss all this. They are God's soothing balm in this world full of sorrows. God knows that at times men need something more than the contact of human beings. Animals are God's wonderful gift to us.

Every animal in this world looks beautiful to me. I know that some of them are dangerous but God has never created any evil ones and they don't turn evil like men. They are consistent and they only defend themselves and in that process we indifferent human beings get hurt.

Love animals, they are worth your love! 

Twitter and just rambling

Realize now that I have more or less abandoned this blog. Sigh.. Shall blame it on twitter where I continue to rant and most of it are addressed immediately. Which means, the steam of the ranting gets over in twitter itself. Twitter also reduced my words to 140 and muddled my grammar and spellings too! Right now I am writing just for the sake of it and with no topic on my mind. I could write about the current coalgate scam where our CBI has openly/legally confessed that they are not an independent team. But since this news is not new, it does not surprise me and I find no way out for this nation. UPA refuses to see it's mistake and there in none to make it pay for it's mistake, unless our esteemed Supreme Court finds a way. Will it save this nation?

Meanwhile our daughter has reached the 12th standard and son 11th. Time has flown too quickly and soon both of them would have to leave Kuwait to pursue higher studies. Until now parenting was easy since they were near, now I wonder how it would be when they are far away. Will they be responsible enough? Will the new freedom make them stray? Will they find right friends? Will the college have ragging? These are some of the thoughts that go through my mind. Sometimes I feel I should go with them but that would mean that I would have to leave Hubby behind. But then things have come this far and I guess it would do so in future too. I still remember how a friend once said the same when I was new to Kuwait and yet to have children. When I wondered how difficult it would be to bring up children with no support she casually remarked that one would take it in stride and it will come naturally. And I did. I had none to support me during my delivery or when I reached home. But I think I did a fair job with my children :) 

The children changes fast! It needed a lot of chiding to make my son comb his hair or select a dress but now he takes more time than his sister to dress up. Even then he has to take opinion from his sister on everything. I see him updating his profile on FB and then waiting with much tension to see the number of comments and likes. This is the age of social media! As for daughter, she has less words for us but too much for her friends. Her phone calls are never ending and I end up threatening to call up parents. Earlier she used to hang onto her father's arms when out for shopping but now unless he reminds her, she does not. Hubby feels abandoned and keeps reminding that the children no longer want us. Guess one need to get used to the fact that they are ready to fly the nest and we may no longer have much hold over them. I left home after my 10th and used to come home only for study leave or during vacation. 

Right now I have this great urge to move to Kerala knowing well that that I may regret the decision :). Hubby won't even let me finish uttering my desire. Living in India will not be easy especially after a life out here. I am not talking about the comforts which is available in India too for a price. But somehow life out here is fairly easier and you fall into a false sense of security, whereas in India one is rudely awakened each time we try to settle down. As for the NRI's how much ever we are on our guard, someone or the other will always be there to think ahead of us. Anyway, let things move on as it is now. Maybe if my MIL asks for my assistance I shall relocate to India. Right now she is comfortable with her lonely life. The greatest surprise is that she has grown to love our dog Jim. She used to hate dogs, mostly due to her fear and it was FIL who still kept dogs out of his love. Though she used to feed the dog she was always threatening to drive it away. But Jim has captured even her heart. Since Jim being a lab had a habit of jumping upon you, she used to keep away from him. But recently we had to terminate the services of our maid since she tried to swindle money and another is yet to join. This meant that Jim was confined to his cage. Poor guy! Until the other day when MIL took courage to let it out and lured it away by food. Surprisingly Jim seems very caring towards MIL. I think he understands that MIL is old and should be treated thus. She is 82 years. Yesterday she was sitting out in the front, and Jim brought the chappals that she uses outside from behind the house. Maybe Jim wanted her to move around with him! Here is a picture of Jim as a pup.

All of us miss him much and we are waiting for July to come so that we can see him. He has grown big and will soon celebrate his first birthday. We bought him home as a puppy and he accompanied us everywhere. He slept with our son until we had to leave him behind. Only Hubby was lucky to see him again and he brought back enough photos and videos to satisfy us. Only dogs can love you unconditionally!

Think I have rambled enough for today :) Hope to return with more serious topic soon.

Growing old

I realized that these days I have only one subject on mind: Rape.. nd before I write one more post on the same let me share this gem that I found on Face Book on growing old. I have a few more years before I reach half a century and if that is allowed to me! But this post makes me look at the same with a lighter heart.

Growing old is Awesome when you look at it like this !!!Some very true words to ponder….I hope you enjoy.

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.They, too, will get old.I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

Dreaming of a white Christmas

It is not that I have ever experienced a white Christmas.. but this is the time of the year that I love to listen to Christmas songs.

It takes me back to my childhood and my favourite month: December. In the place I grew up; Peerumade, December made a very noisy appearance. The wind made a howling sound that is so unique to this area. The weather turned cooler and the air was filled with the smell of Eucalyptus. The howling wind tore down the twigs and leaves and at night the sound reached a crescendo. But this was also the time for the year-end holidays. The school at that time had a January to December schedule and the whole December was off. And since one has finished the final exam for the year there was no more studies too. Luckily tuitions had not made an appearance and we children were free to do what we wanted. Actually the exams were not forgotten since the results had to be faced sooner or later. But to douse the fear each time it made an appearance, all one had to do was to play the game of pebbles. One throws it up and try to catch it each time it comes down and if you can do it nth number of time, you are sure to pass! How easily we found solutions to our fears when we were younger!

It was also the time for Christmas cakes. There were no bakeries nearby and the cakes had to come from the kitchen. My mother would have soaked the dry fruits in rum and the baking would start after a week of soaking. She makes enough for us and to gift to relatives whom we would visit. She made one of the best cakes and I am yet to taste one similar to hers! I remember the day our lab; Floppy stole one whole cake to feed her hungry puppies. Since the cake was left to cool on the dining table, she somehow crept in and stole one away! I don’t think she was taken to task for that.. she was too cute and loving!

December was also the time of the year to start fresh and this thought made one happier. Resolutions were made to study harder and to fight less with the siblings. Since we were five, fighting was an invariable part. There were lots of games and lots of fights!

December was also the time for Christmas Carols. Even though the congregation was small, the Christmas Choir was a must each year. The choir practice was mostly done at our place and a good supply of hot snacks and tea made appearance.

It was also the time for Christmas tree! There were no fancy decoration items but yet the tree was beautiful. It was also the time to receive Christmas cards and to see the ones who remembered our family. The cards would be stacked against the trees. Some would contain snaps of the family; new additions and others we children have never seen.

And now.. December is the time to forget everything! One works even on a Christmas day and the only tradition that I follow is the Christmas Tree. And that reminds me that it is time to take down the Christmas Tree  J

Onam Wishes....

A very happy Onam!

Since we do not have a holiday out here for Onam, the elaborate sadhya will have to wait until Friday. Until then I had mini sadhyas for dinner. This way some of the items like ingicurry (long shelf life) can be made in advance. Tomorrow I shall have to make a few items to complete the sadhya on the banana leaf (if the same has not run out in the stores). This made me wonder why we never attempted to eat in the banana leaf while in Kerala since it is available in the backyard. Next time I plan to eat often in the banana leaf. If not anyone else I am sure our daughter will keep me company since she loves a good spread on the banana leaf. I know a friend who refrigates the  banana leaf and then packs rice in this to be eaten at home. Just like the "pothi chore" that we have during train rides. She says it brings back sweet memories and the taste is great too.

Yesterday we celebrated Onam at our work place by making instant payasam. It turned out to be tasty and today we hope to have a real sadhya with a repeat of the paysam. There is one more malayalee with me. The payasam did boil over :) One had to do with the kettle to make the payasam.

The children in our building have been creative. Lack of flowers did not deter them from making a "pookalam" without flowers.

At least the children are outside doing something instead of watching the crap in the TV. If they were in Kerala, they could have walked around and collected the flowers for the pookalam but here they would need to buy them from the stores.

Anyway, I could see that they were thoroughly enjoying the activity. It does look like a "kolam" but for the moment it is their pookalam.

I did it!

Yes I did it!

It maybe a small achievement for many but for me it is a major one.

I learned to swim!

Now dont say bah!

It all started when daughter wanted to go for swimming classes.

I have always wanted to learn; in fact it was one dream which I never knew when and how I shall possess. Being an Aquarian, I have an affinity towards water but at the same time I was terrified to put my head down under the water. I used to dread even the water theme parks and once I remember how my head went under water and I was terrified.  Having grown up in the high ranges with only streams and small pools and the climate not so conducive for swimming, I never had a chance to acquire this life skill. So it was a chance that I took. The first day itself taught me that it was a daunting task. I was terrified of going under the water.

The first class taught us the leg movement while holding onto the side bars but I think one should also be taught to put the head under water and breathe out. It is from the net that I learned that only this shall take away the fear of water. I found that those who started with me had gone ahead and were already swimming in deep water just like my daughter. It was easy to give up but I did not want to. I learned to swim with the help of the board. Actually when one puts the head and the upper part of the body inside the water, the leg comes up naturally and then the leg movement is easy. But for people like me who was terrified of water, this was not an easy task.

But I did it finally and now I need to practice.

Needless to say that this has given me much happiness and contentment. It also adds to my confidence level. Guess when one is over 40 (wink!) even learning such a skill which might come naturally to others is a great one!

But the only part that I dont like about swimming is the chlorinated pool. I wish they find other means to purify the water. Someone says, rubbing coconut oil on your body may lessen the absorption of chlorine which incidentally is not good for your health.

I look forward to my next class with lots of enthusiasm.

Childhood favourites

After many long years today I listened to a few songs of one of my favourite singer: Kris Kristofferson. Dont know how I forgot him for so long. He was one amongst my elder brother's collection of singers. I think the old tape recorder and the tapes might still be lying around at my parent's place.

I still remember the excitement when our Father brought home the Panasonic taper ecorder. A silver colored one which some gulfwalla had brought to Kerala. Until then like most household one had to depend on the good old radio for songs. Later collection of cassettes became a worthwhile task. It was mostly decided by my brother. Thus I got to listen to Kris Kristoffersen, Dire Straits, Jim Reeves and many others. Even my study break of my Pre-degree days were made sound proof by these songs!  The sound of the song shut off all other external sounds and I found that I could concentrate better on the subject.  And I did get marks too so it is an experiment that did not fail. In fact I have a cousin brother who could study only if listens to songs!

The following song brings home sweet memories of childhood and the lovely place that I grew up.

Kristoffer Kristian "Kris" Kristofferson (born June 22, 1936) is an American musician, actor, and writer. He is known for such hits as "Me and Bobby McGee", "For the Good Times", "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down", and "Help Me Make It Through the Night". Kristofferson is the sole writer of most of his songs, and he has collaborated with various other figures of the Nashville scene such as Shel Silverstein.[1]

Help me make it trought the night

Take the ribbon from your hair,

Shake it loose and let it fall,
Layin' soft upon my skin.
Like the shadows on the wall.

Come and lay down by my side
'till the early morning light
All I'm takin' is your time.
Help me make it through the night.

I don't care what's right or wrong,
I don't try to understand.
Let the devil take tomorrow.
Lord, tonight I need a friend.

Yesterday is dead and gone
And tomorrow's out of sight.
And it's sad to be alone.
Help me make it through the night.

I don't care what's right or wrong,
I don't try to understand.
Let the devil take tomorrow.
Lord, tonight I need a friend.

Yesterday is dead and gone
And tomorrow's out of sight.
Lord, it's bad to be alone.

Help me make it through the night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh1y7Jkikuk&feature=related

Abide with me...

We all have our favourite songs and hymns. It can lift you up and comfort you. There are some songs which can make one cry with it's verses and it's redition. Below is one such song and I cannot help crying each time I hear it. Maybe it is age which is taking it's toll :). It may sound a little sad and is also sung during funerals. But somehow, it also comforts while one travels the never so smooth road of life.

It's Malayalam version is sung during most evening prayers. It was sung almost daily at my maternal grand parent's place. I loved the way King's College Choir - Cambridge sung this song.

"Abide with Me" is a Christian hymn written by Scottish Anglican Henry Francis Lyte.

He wrote it in 1847 while he lay dying from tuberculosis; he survived only a further three weeks after its completion.

1. Abide with me; fast falls the eventide; the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide. When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, O abide with me.


2. Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day; earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away; change and decay in all around I see; O thou who changest not, abide with me.


3. I need thy presence every passing hour. What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power? Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.


4. I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless; ills have no weight, and tears not bitterness. Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory? I triumph still, if thou abide with me.


5. Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes; shine through the gloom and point me to the skies. Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee; in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

I am over 40

Unless I am filling an application or am with a doctor or a lawyer, I need not disclose where exactly this 40 stands, not unless I reach 50!

For women, life starts at 40. At least for me this is true. This is when she is the most confident and I would not trade this age with any other age, not even the teens. Of course, if one had the same self confidence then your teens or your twenties would be nice. But it is seldom so. You are so full of doubts and worries to have self confidence. Not so at 40. This is the age when you accept yourself. No more crying for what will never be yours. No more yearning for stars. This is the age when you wake up and thank for one more day. This is the age when you stop to smell the flowers.

This is the age when you have that all elusive quality; patience! During my growing up years, it was patience that I lacked most. I was that girl always worried that life would pass away if I don’t grab it. On a car ride, one wanted to reach the destination and failed to enjoy the ride. And after a while life did pass in slow motion and all one could do was watch as a spectator. But after 40, one starts enjoying the slowness. One also starts appreciating others. One realizes that everyone is doing what they know to be is the best. It may be higher or lower than the standards that you keep, but they are doing what they can.

Though I am over 40, I have not moved a single year beyond 30 :). This is another paradox of life. My MIL is 83 years old, but in her mind she has never moved beyond 40. At times, it scares me and sometimes it fascinates me. She is seldom satisfied with her appearance and is very happy to preen in front of the mirror. She will never pass by a mirror without admiring herself. Yes..I may find myself in her shoes (not the obsession with looks though) if I ever come anywhere close by to that age.
After 40, one can be also more bitchy! This is one area where you should keep watch. With self confidence comes the urge to say what comes in your mind. It could be the truth but it can hurt.

Here is to every woman over 40…. Enjoy your days and never think you are a day older than 30.. not until you are ready to face your maker.

Jurassic Park?

It is with delight that I read the news that Russian scientists have grown a plant belonging to the ice age (30,000 years ago) by using the tissue from a fruit found buried in a squirrel’s burrow.

Source: nydailynews.com

"The squirrels dug the frozen ground to build their burrows, which are about the size of a soccer ball, putting in hay first and then animal fur for a perfect storage chamber," said Stanislav Gubin, one of the authors of the study, who spent years rummaging through the area for squirrel burrows. "It's a natural cryobank."

Now that this is possible, one can rest assured that no species of plant life will go extinct, if at least a part of it is preserved.

But what scared me were the following lines:

"If we are lucky, we can find some frozen squirrel tissue," Gubin told the AP. "And this path could lead us all the way to mammoth."


Japanese scientists are already searching in the same area for mammoth remains, but Gubin voiced hope that the Russians will be the first to find some frozen animal tissue that could be used for regeneration.

Sure, a mammoth may not be as scary as a dinosaur; but why should the scientists stop with a mammoth?

Scale diagram comparing the largest known dinosaurs in five major clades and a human

In the March 2005 issue of Science, the paleontologist Mary Higby Schweitzer and her team announced the discovery of flexible material resembling actual soft tissue inside a 68-million-year-old Tyrannosaurus rex leg bone from the Hell Creek Formation in Montana. After recovery, the tissue was rehydrated by the science team.[43]


When the fossilized bone was treated over several weeks to remove mineral content from the fossilized bone-marrow cavity (a process called demineralization), Schweitzer found evidence of intact structures such as blood vessels, bone matrix, and connective tissue (bone fibers). Scrutiny under the microscope further revealed that the putative dinosaur soft tissue had retained fine structures (microstructures) even at the cellular level. The exact nature and composition of this material, and the implications of Schweitzer's discovery, are not yet clear; study and interpretation of the material is ongoing.[43]

I guess one need not wait for a nuclear holocaust to end the current civilization; the dinosaurs may carry out this task more efficiently!

Source:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/russian-scientists-revive-ice-age-plant-article-1.1025943
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinosaur

I finally found my Rosy

Not sure what has come over blogger.com. Not only am I getting unwanted traffic from sites like localhost and such others but I am also losing comments that I post on other blogs. The other day I almost lost my blog! Since I did not have a recent backup of my blog, it was a shocking moment. Luckily all I had to do was log into my account- but the problem with the pishing sites is still there. Upon googling I find that it is not only me who is facing this problem. The unwanted attention is mostly from Bulgaria.


Anyway I am very happy today since I finally found the book!

It was a book that captured my heart and imagination during my school days. But I have no idea how it came into my hands. I do not think it was from my mother's collection since I have not seen it again. It could have been from the local club or the school library. All I could remember was Rosy the elephant whose antics the author had written so well. I checked for the author among the humor genre but couldn’t locate this book. Since it was an animal story, I wondered if it was James Herriot and ended up reading much about him but couldn’t find this particular book. Finally the author's name popped up from a blog post and suddenly I knew my search was over. I had found my Rosy. But since much has changed over the years, do I want to read this book again? Will it give me the same pleasure?

Wikepedia says Gerald "Gerry" Malcolm Durrell, OBE (January 7, 1925 – January 30, 1995) was a naturalist, zookeeper, conservationist, author and television presenter. He was born in Jamshedpur, and reportedly recalled his first visit to a zoo in India and attributed his life-long love of animals to that encounter.

Durrell's growing disillusionment with the way zoos of the time were run, and his belief that they should primarily act as reserves and regenerators of endangered species, made him contemplate founding his own zoo. His 1957 trip to Cameroon for the third and last time was primarily to collect animals which would form the core collection of his own zoo. This expedition was also filmed, Durrell's first experiment with making a cinematographic record of his work with animals. The success of the film To Bafut with Beagles, together with his popular and autobiographical radio programme Encounters with Animals, made Durrell a regular with the BBC Natural History unit for decades to come, as well as generating much-needed funds for his conservation projects.

“Rosy is my relative” was one of the only three novels that he wrote. It is about an elephant bequeathed to Adrian (protagonist of the novel) by an uncle.

The author’s note says the following:

ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE will not believe me, I would like to place it on record that this is an almost true story. By this I mean that Rosy and Adrian Rookwhistle really did exist. I had the privilege of meeting Rosy myself. Nearly all the adventures described in this book really happened. I have merely embroidered and polished here and there.

Rosy stole my heart right from the time she landed at Adrian’s home and continues to give me a warm feeling. Gerald must have developed his love for elephants during his stay in India.

An excerpt from the novel:

“There she is,” said the carter, with satisfaction, “and she’s all yours.”




“It can’t be,” said Adrian faintly, “it can’t be mine . . . I don’t want an elephant.”


“Now look ’ere,” said the carter with some asperity, “I’ve travelled all night, see, to bring this ruddy animal to you. You’re Mr. A. Rookwhistle, therefore she’s your animal.”


Adrian began to wonder if the shocks he had already received that morning had unhinged his mind. It was bad enough having to cope with an acrobat, without finding himself suddenly saddled with, of all things, an elephant. Then, suddenly, he had an awful suspicion.


“What’s its name?” he asked hoarsely.


“Rosy,” said the carter, “leastways, that’s what they told me.”


At the sound of her name the elephant swayed to and fro gently and uttered a small squeak, like the mating cry of a very tiny clarinet. She was shackled inside the dray by two chains padlocked round her front legs, and they made a musical clanking noise when she moved. She stretched out her trunk seductively towards Adrian and blew a small puff of air at him. Oh God, thought Adrian, I’d much rather it was a drunken acrobat.

Let me get back to my long lost friend Rosy.

 

Changing times

As one grows older, relationship with your relatives keeps changing. Certain experience forces one to change one’s views drastically, however it may hurt you. A part of you dies, eternally. It must be similar to the grief one feels when someone very close to you dies.  Anyway, it is neither about grief nor about relationship that I wanted to pen on my blog today. It is about an attire that will soon disappear from a section of the society in Kerala. It was brought to my mind when I remembered my maternal grandmother who continues to hold a special place in my heart. She was a very strong lady and her memories continue to give me strength during the dark days of my life. Although she lost her elder son in his prime age, it never turned her into a bitter woman. She became only more strong and more nurturing.


During a certain era, the Christian ladies in Kerala used to wear only the "Mundu and Chatta". While the origin of it is still in dispute, some say this tradition dates back to the time of the Jewish settlement in Kerala, while there is also some who say that it was brought to Kerala by the Portugese. But then, it is also similar to the Indian sari. The white “Mundu” is about 7 yards in length and covers the lower part from the waist while a form of blouse(in white) with a “V” shaped neck covered the upper part of the body. A piece of cloth called "Neriyathu" (similar to the pallav of the sari) decorated with threads of gold is normally worn over the blouse while going out of the house. This will be gathered on the shoulder with the help of a brooch or a safety pin. The famous singer Usha Uthup can be seen wearing the same in the following photo. It is from the only Malayalam movie that she acted in, where she plays the part of a Christian lady.

Usha Uthup in the movie "Pothenvava"




An old picutre of a Christian Couple from Kerala

 

One can see the "Njori" or the fan like piece in this picture of an old lady of Kerala

I have seen both my maternal and paternal grandmothers wearing the “Chatta and Mundu”. While my maternal grandmother sometimes used to wear a sari too, at home I have seen both my grandmothers wear only this attire. Since I was more close to my maternal grandmother and since it is with her that I have spent more time, I have watched her wearing it too. She was very quick with the “njori” or the fan like pleats that was tucked into the back of the mundu. During her later years, I have helped her with this. The “neriyathu” or the “pallav” was worn only while going out. But neither my mother nor my MIL has ever worn this dress and for sure I shall never wear it too. I do not think my children have seen many wearing it too. I think the Christian girls of a bygone era started wearing this once they reached a certain age and then never got to try anything else.

While I may lament about lost traditions, I am happy that the women from my part of the world are free to wear any dress of their choice; whatever may be their age.

Source:
http://nasrani.net/2007/10/07/a-syrian-christian-family-portrait-circa-1620-ad/

http://www.keralafashions.com/keralafashions_fashionhistory_christian.htm