Every house to become a hotel.....

The Ministry is preparing a draft Bill that would entitle housewives a monthly income from their husbands.

The Bill is likely to be presented before Parliament within six months.

Union Minister for Women and Child Development Krishna Tirath said the proposal was aimed at empowering women.

I am not sure what kind of empowerment she is hoping to achieve from this idiotic move!

Personally, I love to take care of my family. At times I may complain but nothing is perfect in our lives. But the immense satisfaction that I get when I make a healthy and tasty meal cannot be bought. And imagine if my Hubby after one such meal gives me money! It will be like a slap on my face since I then become just a paid maid!

But our Krishna Tirath has this explanation:

“A majority of women in India are involved in household chores after getting married but they do not get any salary for it. The socially accepted behaviour becomes a tragedy when a woman gets divorced or is widowed when she is left with nothing for survival.

So her problem is that divorced or widowed women is left with nothing. Don't we already have laws for paying annuity? And widows are normally entitled to her husband's wealth and government employees even have widow pensions. So what is she up to? Is it because she cannot solve the real issues, like dowry and dowry deaths.

As per the National Crime Records Bureau, the number of dowry deaths have increased in India.

In 2010, 8391 dowry death cases were reported across India, meaning a bride was burned every 90 minutes, according to statistics recently released by the National Crime Records Bureau.

A decade earlier this number was 6995, but climbed to 8093 dowry deaths in 2007.

Dowry, although banned by law in 1961 but never seriously enforced, is an ancient tradition prevalent amongst most Indian families.

Dowry has been banned only in papers but in reality, families continue to pay for a groom. A girl becomes a bride only if she is accompanied by an appropriate dowry, no matter what other educational qualification she holds. The minute a daughter is born, the hapless parent is forced to hoard gold/money so that he can purchase a groom for his daughter. Some people say that dowry is so ingrained in the hearts of the Indians that it cannot be done away with and for some it is a matter of pride! This pride is alright for the rich and the upper middle class but for those below, it is never a matter of pride but it is only out of necessity that a dowry is paid. No dowry means the girl shall stay at home. And for this the parents stop enjoying their lives so that their daughter can have a life. Even then this life is not always guaranteed. And now if she needs to be paid too then the marriage is already in the rocks. And how in the world are they planning to monitor? If monitoring is such an easy task, then why don't they monitor dowry and domestic violence? Even men are being harassed these days.

And if pocket money is the real issue then why don't a fixed amount of money be kept in the bank under the bride's name soon after marriage? This can serve multiple purpose. This is being done everywhere these days since dowry was stopped. The parents transfer the "dowry" to the bank under the name of the daughter. She can then decide to spend it the way she likes.

In my opinion this "salary" to be paid after marriage is as demeaning as the dowry that is being paid before marriage. Unless one stops treating a bride and groom as commodities in the market nothing is going to change. Treat a girl as just another human being and give her all the education that is possible. Solve problems like female foeticide and try to change the cultural attitude of Indians that make them take dowry, kill baby girls, yearn for baby boys over girls and then maybe everything shall be solved. Instead, please don't come up with ridiculous solutions that shall solve no problem but is like pouring oil over already troubled waters.

Feminism

What is feminism?

Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.[1][2] In addition, feminism seeks to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist is a "person whose beliefs and behavior are based on feminism."[3]

Am I a feminist? Guess I am one when I fight for my own equal rights.

But sometimes I find feminists making fatal mistakes. For instance in Kerala a hair oil company is bringing out a few advertisements in favor of women and the issues they face specially in Kerala. One such is the eve teasing and harassment that occur in buses and trains. This is depicted by a woman standing amongst others with her hair let loose. But somehow instead of a feeling of empathy it only generated pity. I am not sure if it is because of the forceful way this lady delivered the dialogue or the dialogue itself. It puts off the viewers and specially men who are supposed to be the target. A woman is harassed irrespective of her hair. It is ridiculous to think that eve teasers or perverse men target only women with long hair!

There is one more about an abusive husband coming home drunk to beat the hell out of his wife. This too just does not capture the empathy of the audience. I guess a woman needs to be a woman and only then she will succeed in her attempt. She needs to find strength in her feminism. It is this same feeling that I got while reading an article that appeared on Kafila regarding the first episode that appeared on Satyameva Jayate. Amir Khan is only making an attempt and it needs to be appreciated. The whole nation is now forced to confront these issues. While Shohini Ghosh has a point, I believe that a true feminist can overcome any situation when she starts loving herself and those of her kind. An abortion becomes a very hard decision once a woman becomes a mother. How much ever one talks about a woman’s right on her body and her right to abortion, it always works against her since she is going against her own feminism. She cannot escape from the basic qualities that make her feminine. If not, even men would have been given the privilege to conceive.

Now a women opting for abortion would have many reasons. A medical situation where the mother is in danger, because of a rape and if the mother don’t want to have the baby or because if a mother feels that she cannot cope with another baby. The reasons can go on and in each instance the cause is always external. In some case it is under her control while in some like the medical case, she is not. But citing this will cause a dent to the fight against female feticide. It is a risk that women need to take in order to ensure that her kind shall survive.

If a girl child is not allowed to live then what is the point in talking about her right to abort? If she is not allowed to live then it is not just her right to abort but many others that were already taken away gradually. It is these rights that need to be established before talking about her right to abort. Let us talk about her right to education, her right to marry the one she loves when she want to, her right to live on her own if she wants to, her right to take decisions., her right to travel on the road or bus fearlessly. Oh, there are many more such rights. And maybe if these rights are restored she shall enjoy her feminism. She may take a different view on abortion and she will NEVER let another girl child die in her womb.

MTP is allowed in India and that need not interfere with the laws that shall be enacted against female feticide. This country needs to love their women better. She needs to be given the strength to bring forth others like her. If none is going to help her in this process then this strength needs to come from within. This is the time to act. This country needs to love the daughters just like the son. Let her not be equated with weakness but with strength. Let her not be treated like a commodity that needs to be protected until she is given away with a price. Her feminism is enough for her to survive and it is this inner strength that she needs to tap into.

http://kafila.org/2012/05/09/dil-se-nahin-dimaag-se-dekho-thoughts-on-satyamev-jayate-episode-1-shohini-ghosh/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSjESt5A74E&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1myhgD0nqTU&feature=relmfu
 

I have a desire

I have a desire to see the following lady wearing jeans. Now you may ask me why. I just want her to know how comfortable one can be in Jeans. Let her wear it once and then tell us that it is an indecent attire.

Renu Phulia, HCS

Designation: A.D.C., Ambala

Office Phone: +91-171-2532900, 2530800

Residence Phone: +91-171-2552800

Mobile: +91-9215389202, +91-9416204999

Fax: +91-171-2643333

Email: adc-ambala@gmail.com

Offices can have dress codes. We have one here in Kuwait too. We are not allowed to wear a saree to work (in most offices)  and jeans are normally allowed only on Thursday; the end of the week day.  Have heard myself that saree is very revealing and hence not advisable to wear the same for work! Yes.. saree is one of them most seductive dress. It can be more revealing and clinging than the poor jeans and top. If you do not believe it, look around! Not that I have anything against the saree, I love wearing it.

I also see most Arab ladies wear the jeans mostly every day of the week. They look very neat and comfortable in it.

As if khaps of Haryana were not enough to guard the “conservative” image of the state and the skewed sex ratio did not underline the male dominance in society adequately, the Haryana Women and Child Department (WCD) has now passed a diktat to enforce “decent” office dressing for its staff.



This becomes all the more pronounced given the fact that everybody from the minister to the Financial Commissioner, the Principal Secretary and the Director, WCD, are all women.

How many of you think that wearing jeans makes one indecent?

If you are a parent or husband will you stop your daughter or wife from wearing it?


http://rvcorporation.com/demo/ambas/administrative-directory.html

I am over 40

Unless I am filling an application or am with a doctor or a lawyer, I need not disclose where exactly this 40 stands, not unless I reach 50!

For women, life starts at 40. At least for me this is true. This is when she is the most confident and I would not trade this age with any other age, not even the teens. Of course, if one had the same self confidence then your teens or your twenties would be nice. But it is seldom so. You are so full of doubts and worries to have self confidence. Not so at 40. This is the age when you accept yourself. No more crying for what will never be yours. No more yearning for stars. This is the age when you wake up and thank for one more day. This is the age when you stop to smell the flowers.

This is the age when you have that all elusive quality; patience! During my growing up years, it was patience that I lacked most. I was that girl always worried that life would pass away if I don’t grab it. On a car ride, one wanted to reach the destination and failed to enjoy the ride. And after a while life did pass in slow motion and all one could do was watch as a spectator. But after 40, one starts enjoying the slowness. One also starts appreciating others. One realizes that everyone is doing what they know to be is the best. It may be higher or lower than the standards that you keep, but they are doing what they can.

Though I am over 40, I have not moved a single year beyond 30 :). This is another paradox of life. My MIL is 83 years old, but in her mind she has never moved beyond 40. At times, it scares me and sometimes it fascinates me. She is seldom satisfied with her appearance and is very happy to preen in front of the mirror. She will never pass by a mirror without admiring herself. Yes..I may find myself in her shoes (not the obsession with looks though) if I ever come anywhere close by to that age.
After 40, one can be also more bitchy! This is one area where you should keep watch. With self confidence comes the urge to say what comes in your mind. It could be the truth but it can hurt.

Here is to every woman over 40…. Enjoy your days and never think you are a day older than 30.. not until you are ready to face your maker.

Shocking...

Disgusting!

The National Technical Research Organisation (NTRO), the country’s premier technical intelligence agency set up after the Kargil intrusion, is already under the scanner of the Supreme Court for a slew of alleged irregularities. The latest is a shocking case of officials using secret service funds to illegally film their women colleagues in the toilet.


This happened three years ago but has surfaced only now. It’s been learnt that some women staffers who worked in NTRO’s temporary office in Hauz Khas in New Delhi, complained about a spycam fixed in their toilet with the feed from the camera being accessed by a computer manned by the agency’s counter-intelligence and security unit.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/officials-at-intel-agency-filmed-women-colleagues-in-toilet/849534/0

The National Technical Research Organisation (NTRO) is a premier apex scientific organization under the National Security Advisor in the Prime Minister's Office, India.[1] It was set up in 2004.[2] It also includes National Institute of Cryptology Research and Development (NICRD), which is first of its kind in Asia. [3]


The organization does hi-tech surveillance jobs, including satellite monitoring, terrestrial monitoring, internet monitoring, considered vital for the national security apparatus.

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Technical_Research_Organisation


And we thought these officers were appointed to protect out country.

Was there none to monitor them?

How do they select these candidates?

Sad indeed!

And why?

One thought education and means would save our girls. But the latest report by The Lancet tells us that it is those mothers with lesser education and wealth but with a better sense of responsibility who seems to be saving our girls.

The conditional sex ratio for second-order births when the firstborn was a girl fell from 906 per 1000 boys (99% CI 798–1013) in 1990 to 836 (733–939) in 2005; an annual decline of 0•52% (p for trend=0∙002).

Declines were much greater in mothers with 10 or more years of education than in mothers with no education, and in wealthier households compared with poorer households. By contrast, we did not detect any significant declines in the sex ratio for second-order births if the firstborn was a boy, or for firstborns.


Between the 2001 and 2011 censuses, more than twice the number of Indian districts (local administrative areas) showed declines in the child sex ratio as districts with no change or increases. After adjusting for excess mortality rates in girls, our estimates of number of selective abortions of girls rose from 0–2•0 million in the 1980s, to 1•2–4•1 million in the 1990s, and to 3•1–6•0 million in the 2000s. Each 1% decline in child sex ratio at ages 0–6 years implied 1•2–3•6 million more selective abortions of girls. Selective abortions of girls totalled about 4•2–12•1 million from 1980–2010, with a greater rate of increase in the 1990s than in the 2000s.

We did not yet see any clear evidence of selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses. This is partly because India does not enforce a one-child policy, which led to the selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses in China. However, selective abortions of first-order girls might increase if fertility drops further, particularly in urban areas.

The following maps are from the 2011 Census report.

Country wise Child Sex Ratio in age 0-6 (Year 2001 vs 2011)

Ranked State/UT wise for Year 2011

Ranked distict wise for Year 2011

Even Kerala’s sex ratio within the 1-6 range is declining.

Has Kerala too started killing their girls?

With the Indian setup in mind, it would not be fair to blame just the mother since the decision making and even power seldom rests with the mother alone in most households. Yet, let me blame those mothers who are educated and have financial means, since they have failed to exercise their position. They have succumbed to the cultural norms and failed to curb an evil practice when they could.

It is time the educated women in India stopped blaming men alone for all the woes.

What have these mothers gained from education if they fail to love/protect their own lot. Why have they failed to give a chance to girls like themselves? Is it the mother in India who yearns for a boy child more than the father?

And if education alone will not curb this, then only jail terms shall.

The Indian Government implemented a Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act in 1996 to prevent the misuse of techniques for the purpose of prenatal sex determination leading to selective abortion of girls.22 It is unlikely that this Act has been effective nationally because few health providers have been charged or convicted.

But this act has not been effective:

Furthermore, the PNDT Act itself provides scanty information about what penalties would apply either to doctors performing s*x determination tests or to in-laws and family members forcing women to seek them.

And these tests are still done under different pretexts and the information conveyed in “innovative” ways. Even sign languages!

'Laddu' Means A Boy, `Barfi' A Girl A `V' sign would normally mean `victory'. But in some northern States of the country, a doctor uses this sign after ultrasonograhpy of a pregnant woman to indicate, "Voila, it's a son!''

If the doctor asks the patient to come back on a Friday, it means it is a girl she is carrying and she should return for an abortion. And if he says, "Let's meet on Monday'', it means its going to be a boy.

"Our planners and policy makers have not understood the grip of the son complex in Indian society, nor have our sociologists and behavioural scientists done enough research on the subject,'' the study notes.

The study, which covered Kurukshetra in Haryana, Fateh Saheb in Punjab and Kangra district in Himachal Pradesh, categorically states that female foeticide was the result of an unholy alliance between the traditional preference for a son and modern medical technology, increasing greed of doctors and rising the demand for dowry that makes daughters financial burdens.

One of the main reasons that the PNDT Act has failed is "because of the connivance of doctors in s*x determination and selective abortions." These procedures have become lucrative business for many of India's medical practitioners.

For further reading.

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/pre-natal-diagnosis-test-act-1519.asp
http://www.thelancet.com/
http://www.censusindia.gov.in/2011census/training/district_pdf_search/district_pdf.aspx

Idiot Box is being appreciated!

Is TV empowering women in rural India? Yes.. this is what research says.

We see many of the women folks addicted to the TV and the household chores are adjusted around this idiot box. Even prayer time has been shifted so that the serials are not missed. We see them cry, laugh, pray while watching these dramas. Telephone calls and visitors are seen as intruders during this time. And when one visits them, the TV is still there and one is lucky if one gets a cup of tea or a full statement from the host!

But now as per the research, TV is empowering the rural women. It is found that:

1- Girls between the ages of 6 and 10 were 8 percent more likely to go to school
2- The share preferring sons fell 20 percentage points with the arrival of cable, compared with a 12 percent decline overall (this is what I liked most). I guess they found that the girls are after all not that bad!
3- For women under the age of 35, average number of births fell annually by more than half.
4- Women’s autonomy has increased. (Men take care!)
5- Average number of situations in which women said that wife beating is acceptable fell by about 10 percent ( I cant believe there are still women in this century who thinks like this!)

Long live the idiot box!