Overheard

Overheard

1 boy is equal to 8 girls

Background

A heated discussion between a few men, since a to-be FIL was putting up unnecessary demands. Normally this is the job of the groom’s father but here the tables were turned. The men were trying to instill some sense of pride and courage upon this would-be groom who seems to be already trembling under the FIL. How can it be allowed? It is a man’s world and one needs to show these lower folks their places!

The person who uttered that 1 boy is equal to 8 girls is a Father to two lovely girls! I guess how much they deny, in their hearts every parent craves for a boy child. And the boys, while they grow up, imbibe from the society a pride in being a boy while the girl does the opposite. She grows with a sense of inferiority complex which destroys her. She becomes weak when she is required to be strong.

But why am I writing this here? Because I did not confront him when he uttered it and hence lost a golden opportunity to vent my anger.

But if you thought only India was home to such horrors, look at the following from the most forward country (so they think) in the world!

In US Currently, a woman makes 77 cents to each dollar a man earns.

On November 17th, the Paycheck Fairness Act went to the Senate for vote. The bill would have provided “improvement and modifications” to the Equal Pay Act of 1963. President Obama called it a common sense bill. Nonetheless, it failed to pass due to an overwhelming surge of Republican opposition. Democrats voted 56:1 in favor, while Republicans went 1:40 against it.

To mourn the death of the Paycheck Fairness Act, check out our homage to some of the more ridiculous laws regarding women on the books. Hopefully, some will soon be repealed. Let’s just not send them to Congress to do so

1. In Maryland, a woman cannot go through her husband’s pockets while he is sleeping. Not even if she really wants a piece of gum.

2. In Vermont, a woman must obtain written permission from her husband if she wishes to wear false teeth. Because women really lead with their teeth in wanton, uncontrolled sexuality.

3. In Tucson, Arizona, women are not allowed to wear pants. No word on the stance on booty shorts or thongs.

4. In Carrizozo, New Mexico, it is illegal for a woman to appear unshaven in public. Rejoice, razor industry, rejoice!

5. In Dyersburg, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to call a man on a date. I don’t want to live in a world where equal-opportunity drunk dialing isn’t free to all.

6. In Carmel, New York, women may not wear high heels within the city limits. They are obviously just protecting their citizens, as this move effectively disqualifies the city from ever letting a “Sex and the City” sequel to be shot in their town. Good move, Carmel!

7. In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her hair without her husband’s permission. But what if her husband cuts it for her?

http://ecosalon.com/7-stupid-laws-against-women/

But then we saw how the Republican's lost the presidential election because of the their foolish utterance on rape and women in general. Obama got votes from more women than men. The Guardian explains it well.

The ancient Greece was worse; it seems a woman would be executed if she ever saw an Olympic event!

In the Iliad, in the Olympic-like funeral games for Patroclus, you can read how important it was to be the best. Those who won were expected to be the best even before winning: Entering the contest if you weren't the best (kalos k'agathos 'beautiful and best') was unacceptable. Women, foreigners, and slaves were not considered to be tops in arete 'virtue' -- what made them best.

Greek Philosophy on the Inferiority of Women 

The two most influential philosophers, both in the Graeco-Roman world into which Christianity was born and in the world of Christian theology of the Middle Ages, were Plato and Aristotle. We will briefly discuss the views of each.

In Greek society, women's status was very low. A woman's main function was the reproduction of children, especially of sons.

Plato's attitude to women was ambivalent. In some of his writings he advocated a fairer deal for women. In his idealised Republic he foresees an upperclass of ‘guardians’ among whom the chattel status of women is abolished (i.e. she is no longer owned by her husband) and in which women were to receive equal education to men.


On the other hand, he ascribed the inferior status of women clearly to a degeneration from perfect human nature. “It is only males who are created directly by the gods and are given souls. Those who live rightly return to the stars, but those who are ‘cowards or [lead unrighteous lives] may with reason be supposed to have changed into the nature of women in the second generation’. This downward progress may continue through successive reincarnations unless reversed. In this situation, obviously it is only men who are complete human beings and can hope for ultimate fulfilment; the best a woman can hope for is to become a man” (Plato, Timaeus 90e).

According to Aristotle, man rightly takes charge over woman, because he commands superior intelligence. This will also profit the women who depend on him. He compares this to the relationship between human beings and tame animals.

‘It is the best for all tame animals to be ruled by human beings. For this is how they are kept alive. In the same way, the relationship between the male and the female is by nature such that the male is higher, the female lower, that the male rules and the female is ruled.’ Aristotle, Politica, ed. Loeb Classical Library, 1254 b 10-14.

http://www.womeninworldhistory.com/TWR-05.html

India’s most famous early legal code, The Laws of Manu were complied over the years between 200 - 400 C.E. While the position of women in early Vedic India had been good, these laws illustrate the efforts of the Brahmin elite to restrict women’s legal independence in this later period.

• “Women must always be honored and respected by the father, brother, husband and brothers-in-law who desire their own welfare.”
• “If the female members live in grief, the family is destroyed. If the female members are happy, the family flourishes in all directions.”
• “Women shall receive one-quarter share of the inheritance of their parents. If a man has no sons, his daughter may inherit everything he had.”
• “Brothers should give one-forth of their inheritance to their sisters for their sisters’ dowries.”
• “In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, and when her lord is dead, to her sons; a woman must never be independent.”
• “A father sins unless he marries his daughter off when she reaches puberty.” (no wonder the Khaps very recently echoed the same!)
• “Women do not care for beauty, nor is their attention fixed on age; they give themselves to the handsome as well as to the ugly just for the fact that he is a man.”
• “A husband should be worshiped as a God.”
• “Even in the home nothing should be done by a child, a young or even an old wife (woman) independently.”
• “A wife, a son, and a slave, these three are declared to have no property. The wealth which they earn is acquired for him to whom they belong.”
• “Women, shudra (or sudra, lowest of four castes), dog and crow embody untruth, sin and darkness.”
• “Women must particularly be guarded against evil inclinations, however trifling they may appear to be; for, if they are not guarded, they will bring sorrow on both the families. Considering it the highest duty of all castes, even wealthy husbands must strive to guard their wives....lest the seed of others be sown on your soil.”
• “It is the nature of women to seduce men in this world, for that reason the wise never remain unguarded in the company of female.”
• “A woman should not go to a meeting place; and they should not dance like the young, but sit at their proper places.”
• “This is the first law...A wife cannot be dismissed from the marriage by a slave, separation or abdication.”
  
  “A man can leave a barren woman after eight years and one who only gives birth to daughters.”
• “A virtuous wife who after the death of her husband constantly remains chaste, reaches heaven, though she have no son, just like those chaste men.”
• “If a woman should happen to merely to overhear recitations of Vedic mantras by chance, hot molten glass should be poured into her ears.”

http://www.womenpriests.org/traditio/infe_gre.asp

The roots of the Judeo-Christian sexual prohibitions, as well as the sexual prohibitions of religions such as Islam, spring from ancient Jewish tribal law. During early times wives were considered "property" and laws were specifically codified to protect three things: livestock, wives and dwellings--an order or importance that seems clear in Jewish law.

The Christian church still treats women second to man. There are many rules that bind her from birth to death that makes her different from a boy. Not that every household follows these rules. But it is in the subconscious mind and comes forth when needed! If I die tomorrow I can only be buried in the Church that my husband belongs to and never in my Parent’s church. Parents unconsciously pushes the girl child away from them as soon as she is capable of standing up. Since she will never belong to them it is better to train oneself early in life!

And why?

One thought education and means would save our girls. But the latest report by The Lancet tells us that it is those mothers with lesser education and wealth but with a better sense of responsibility who seems to be saving our girls.

The conditional sex ratio for second-order births when the firstborn was a girl fell from 906 per 1000 boys (99% CI 798–1013) in 1990 to 836 (733–939) in 2005; an annual decline of 0•52% (p for trend=0∙002).

Declines were much greater in mothers with 10 or more years of education than in mothers with no education, and in wealthier households compared with poorer households. By contrast, we did not detect any significant declines in the sex ratio for second-order births if the firstborn was a boy, or for firstborns.


Between the 2001 and 2011 censuses, more than twice the number of Indian districts (local administrative areas) showed declines in the child sex ratio as districts with no change or increases. After adjusting for excess mortality rates in girls, our estimates of number of selective abortions of girls rose from 0–2•0 million in the 1980s, to 1•2–4•1 million in the 1990s, and to 3•1–6•0 million in the 2000s. Each 1% decline in child sex ratio at ages 0–6 years implied 1•2–3•6 million more selective abortions of girls. Selective abortions of girls totalled about 4•2–12•1 million from 1980–2010, with a greater rate of increase in the 1990s than in the 2000s.

We did not yet see any clear evidence of selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses. This is partly because India does not enforce a one-child policy, which led to the selective abortion of firstborn female fetuses in China. However, selective abortions of first-order girls might increase if fertility drops further, particularly in urban areas.

The following maps are from the 2011 Census report.

Country wise Child Sex Ratio in age 0-6 (Year 2001 vs 2011)

Ranked State/UT wise for Year 2011

Ranked distict wise for Year 2011

Even Kerala’s sex ratio within the 1-6 range is declining.

Has Kerala too started killing their girls?

With the Indian setup in mind, it would not be fair to blame just the mother since the decision making and even power seldom rests with the mother alone in most households. Yet, let me blame those mothers who are educated and have financial means, since they have failed to exercise their position. They have succumbed to the cultural norms and failed to curb an evil practice when they could.

It is time the educated women in India stopped blaming men alone for all the woes.

What have these mothers gained from education if they fail to love/protect their own lot. Why have they failed to give a chance to girls like themselves? Is it the mother in India who yearns for a boy child more than the father?

And if education alone will not curb this, then only jail terms shall.

The Indian Government implemented a Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act in 1996 to prevent the misuse of techniques for the purpose of prenatal sex determination leading to selective abortion of girls.22 It is unlikely that this Act has been effective nationally because few health providers have been charged or convicted.

But this act has not been effective:

Furthermore, the PNDT Act itself provides scanty information about what penalties would apply either to doctors performing s*x determination tests or to in-laws and family members forcing women to seek them.

And these tests are still done under different pretexts and the information conveyed in “innovative” ways. Even sign languages!

'Laddu' Means A Boy, `Barfi' A Girl A `V' sign would normally mean `victory'. But in some northern States of the country, a doctor uses this sign after ultrasonograhpy of a pregnant woman to indicate, "Voila, it's a son!''

If the doctor asks the patient to come back on a Friday, it means it is a girl she is carrying and she should return for an abortion. And if he says, "Let's meet on Monday'', it means its going to be a boy.

"Our planners and policy makers have not understood the grip of the son complex in Indian society, nor have our sociologists and behavioural scientists done enough research on the subject,'' the study notes.

The study, which covered Kurukshetra in Haryana, Fateh Saheb in Punjab and Kangra district in Himachal Pradesh, categorically states that female foeticide was the result of an unholy alliance between the traditional preference for a son and modern medical technology, increasing greed of doctors and rising the demand for dowry that makes daughters financial burdens.

One of the main reasons that the PNDT Act has failed is "because of the connivance of doctors in s*x determination and selective abortions." These procedures have become lucrative business for many of India's medical practitioners.

For further reading.

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/pre-natal-diagnosis-test-act-1519.asp
http://www.thelancet.com/
http://www.censusindia.gov.in/2011census/training/district_pdf_search/district_pdf.aspx

The Gender Gap

After the CWG fiasco here comes another disheartening report which should wake us up.

The Global Gender Gap report by the World Economic Forum.

The Index benchmarks national gender gaps on economic, political, education- and healthbased criteria, and provides country rankings that allow for effective comparisons across regions and income groups, and over time. The rankings are designed to create greater awareness among a global audience of the challenges posed by gender gaps and the opportunities created by reducing them. The methodology and quantitative analysis behind the rankings are intended to serve as a basis for designing effective measures for reducing gender gaps.

As always, curiosity made me look into the report, to try and understand what I can.

India has been ranked 112 (out of 134 countries).

Also, like many I wondered why India went below Philippines (with rank 9 and highest amongst the Asia and Pacific countries) and also Kuwait (women were given voting rights only recently) and UAE, specially when India has a woman in three of the most important positions, namely Sushma Swaraj of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) and currently the Leader of the Opposition, Sonia Gandhi, President of the Indian National Congress and Prathiba Patil the Indian President. Sonia Gandhi was also ranked 13th in the Forbes most powerful women in year 2009, although they have not ranked her this year. But the report has taken into account this factor and hence India ranks 23rd in the political empowerment. Yet, this seems to have made no impact on other crucial areas namely, Literacy Rate, Infant Mortality, Maternal Mortality and even Wage Equality for Similar Work.

Now if you are wondering why this should bother us:

For instance, the United Nations estimates that, only in the Asian region, about $47 billion of yearly output are lost every year from a lack of female participation in labour markets, as reported in United Nations (2007).

Gender discrimination has widespread ramifications and clear economic and social costs. The Asia-Pacific region has made good progress in reducing gender discrimination in recent years, but appalling disparities remain. The region is losing $42-$47 billion per year because of restrictions on women’s access to employment opportunities – and another $16-$30 billion per year because of gender gaps in education. Those are just the economic costs – added to them are social and personal costs.

In some countries, one in every 10 girls dies before reaching the age of one, and one in every 50 women dies during pregnancy and delivery.

India and also Philippines falls under the Lower Middle Income Group of countries and this may be one reason why India (with a larger population) lag behind countries like Kuwait and UAE who are grouped under the High Income.  Sri Lanka has retained it's position and is doing well despite the turmoil it went through. And these countries are much ahead when it comes to educating their females. And education seems to be the crucial factor. In terms of literacy, India has only 51 females (out of 75 men) while more women than men gets the basic education in Philipines (95 female and 93 men). Even China's literacy rate is excellent 91-97. Sadly Pakistan is ranked the lowest in the Asia and Pacific region and those dollars which came in has not done it any good and for that matter it may go down further if the Taliban get's it's way.

There is also one more interesting fact that I noted; if one assumes that there are smart men and women who are equally good at their jobs, then when lesser women are getting educated, some jobs are being filled up by the not so smart men :)  We are aware of some of those women who are doing very good.  Indira Nooyi  who is ranked 6^th  in the latest report (Forbes most powerful women)  maybe ignored since her field is not India ( situation is not favorable ?) but yet there is still Chanda Kocchar  who runs ICICI, India’s second largest bank and she is ranked #92. I am sure she deserves a better rank since this bank seems to be standing up quite well when others elsewhere keep tumbling down occasionally. (103 failures in the period Jan-Jul 2010). Now I am not sure if women are better or worse  in jobs, although my blogger friend seems to have an opinion on them. I think it is because they need time to get used to the idea. But there are international companies who have made it a policy to hire 50% of women since it works better for them.  PWC is one example.

Klaus Schwab, the chairman of the WEF, said: "Low gender gaps are directly correlated with high economic competitiveness.


"We still need a true gender equality revolution, not only to mobilise a major pool of talent both in terms of volume and quality, but also to create a more compassionate value system within all our institutions."

Many analysis shows that gender inequality in education prevents progress in reducing fertility and child mortality rates, thereby compromising progress in well-being in developing countries.

First, gender inequality in education and access to resources may prevent a reduction of child mortality, of fertility, and an expansion of education of the next generation.

Greater education increases her health knowledge which improves her ability to promote the health of her children (World Bank, 1993), and greater bargaining power increases her say over household resources which often leads to greater allocations to child health and nutrition, compared to their husbands. For example, Thomas (1990) found that the impact of unearned income on child survival was 20 times greater if the income was brought in by the mother than if it was brought in by the father.

And, gender gap can also affect the Total Fertility Rate.

Total fertility rate


The total fertility rate (TFR) is an important determinant of development because the resources available per capita are fundamental to the development process. A high TFR squeezes resources (per capita) within a household, as well as at the national level, diminishing the health and education of children and the wellbeing of families. High fertility leads particularly to poor health and education of women and children, creating
a vicious cycle. A low TFR, however, enables countries to spend more on health and education, leading to improved social welfare.


There is a high correlation between TFR and per capita income, with higher TFR leading to lower incomes figure 3.10). The TFR is also a good indicator of women’s control over their reproductive rights and  health, of progress in gender relations, and of education, particularly that of women.

Now, to reduce population some may want to go the Sanjay Gandhi way (though it may have appealed to at least a few if he and his brother had set out an example themselves!). But if educating the female population can indeed bring down the overall population and much more, then it is time India spend more money on this than affairs like CWG's. CWG did give us Indians a high for a few days but I do not think it has done much for the long term.

Source:
http://www.weforum.org/pdf/gendergap/report2010.pdf
http://www.unescap.org/pdd/publications/survey2007/01_Survey_2007.pdf
http://siteresources.worldbank.org/INTGENDER/Resources/wp7.pdf
http://www.pwc.com/en_GX/gx/women-at-pwc/assets/closing_the_gender_gap_companion_guide.pdf

Daughters

Came across this chilling video as I went blog trotting and passed by Vinod’s blog post. It left me depressed and helpless since I couldn’t help seeing my daughter in her. I can do nothing but I can at least vent my feelings on my blog. I do not know where it has happened but can very well guess. But for sure it continues to happen. I will never understand how murder can be a lesser sin. I will also never understand how a girl/woman who was until then a daughter or a sister or a mother becomes an object to be crushed out, be it for any reason.

But when I look at my daughter who will soon turn 13, I am worried. How will this world be when she is ready to face it? Will she be too strong or too weak to face this world? If she is strong, will her strength make her suffer? I do not know.

But all I know now is that there are many helpless girls out in our world crying for help that is never coming.

I think I was lucky to be born in a place and time that was less complicated. So maybe I can only pray that my daughter’s world will also be thus. But then I also pray that these men who have never “sinned” will soon be born as woman in the same place.

International Day of the Girl Child

Yesterday, September 24th was celeberated as the International Day of the Girl Child without much fanfare..

Unlike other “International days”, there is nothing much in this day for creating any fanfare.

No cards nor gifts to gift anyone and hence none to sell them.

Many of those girl children who survived in this world still live a life with not much recognition.

But then there are many who never saw the light only because she was meant to be born as a girl.

We let a caring sister, wife, mother, grandmother die a premature death.


The world saw in 2005 through the eyes of Dr. Hoa Phuong Tran(one among many) the below:

A study in India of seven hundred pregnant women undergoing a genetic amniocentesis test revealed that less than one in twenty of the women who were informed they were carrying a daughter actually continued with thepregnancy3. Female foeticide is a direct result of deep-rooted discriminatory attitudes and women’s perceived low worth. When I first went to India some years ago, I was shocked to discover that even though the Government had banned the payment of dowry, in poor areas, the practice still dominates the life and the mindset of virtually all poor families. Hence the belief that girls are a burden of little worth.

An excerpt from Gender - The view from below*
Prepared by
Dr. Hoa Phuong Tran

And we continue to see it not only among the poor but also among the affluent and from one city to another it is spreading like cancer.

Report says girl child not wanted in Bangalore

IANS
24 Sep 2008 02:51:00 PM IST

BANGALORE: As the world observed International Day of the Girl Child Wednesday, India's IT hub presented a poor picture of itself with a Karnataka government report indicating declining child sex ratio.


The ratio in Karnataka has fallen drastically from 960 to 946 between 1991 and 2001, when the last census was conducted.

The ratio stood at 954 in rural areas and 939 in urban areas. Bangalore has a ratio of 941, much lower than some poorer districts like Kolar, in its neighbourhood and Bidar in north Kanataka. The national average is 927/1000, according to 2001 Census.


Is it not time to wake up?

Gender.. cont

Let me continue my previous post on Gender Equality since KK thinks I have been unfair in my opinion. But before that let me state that I am not an FCP and I do enjoy being a mother, a wife and whatever role this world has bestowed upon the female population. It is just that sometimes it is a thankless job and then where else but my blog can I rumble.

As for the mention of religion, your observation is correct but I was under the impression that at least Hinduism with numerous female Goddesses is not thus. But upon reading about Female Foeticide and exploring further: thanks to links provided by and gathered through my blog friends, every religion including Hinduism does play a role in gender discrimination. Now I have no idea about the Hindu scriptures although I did try to read Bhagawad Gita but couldn’t continue for some reasons. I personally have not taken my religion very seriously and hate to be tied down to religious orders and rituals. I may do so just to appease those whom I care for. But I do hope I will be given a fair chance to work this one out with the Almighty when I meet him (?) personally!

The Indian Homemaker writes thus under Simple Patriarchy or Religion in Unchaahi. I love reading her since she makes every subject interesting.

Our dislike of daughters is deep rooted. It's in our culture. Next time you attend a traditional kua poojana (ceremony on birth of a baby boy); see someone fasting for their son's long life; next time you see a woman being blessed to 'doodho nahao, pooto phalo';..Next time you read/watch in our popular epics, how all powerful women are mothers' of sons (anywhere from one to about a hundred sons); next time you read/hear bhajans of baby hood of our popular male gods ask yourself; when did we ever, EVER want daughters? It's in our roots. Women in India had just one purpose, to give birth to sons! Many of them think they still have just that one use.

Check this article out on Female Foeticide in India

Our society is a complex of thousands of years of religious, cultural and circumstantial history. The freedom and respect for women in the vedic and post vedic periods has been eroded by successive waves of invasion and occupation, when victors treated the women of India as spoils of victory. The reaction was to put women behind ‘purdah’ by creating social norms which took away their freedom, rights and liberties, thus putting them at the mercy of men. Their visibility as intellectuals, artists, leaders and fighters disappeared. Thus, while Hindu men continued with their Devi or Goddess worship, the living devi was buried deep by these very same men.

Then here is a link provided by my blog friend Maddy:

Religion, Literacy, and the Female-to-Male Ratio in India
Vani K. Borooah and Sriya Iyer*

Against this background, the purpose of this paper is to propose a new idea: to show that, far from being independent of each other, the sex ratio and family size by
religion are highly related. At its plainest, girls in India may be least at risk with Muslim parents and most at risk with parents who are caste Hindus.

We can brush all these ideas away but as Maddy commented, gender bias is here to stay for a long time and we can continue analysing the reasons for the same. It could be because of various cultural invasions or religious orders and we cannot blame a particular religion for what is happening within that religion too.

Oh.. it is a very complex subject but we need a change.

The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.

Charles Kettering

Mother's day and Gender unpacked

The other day our daughter studying in Class 7, asked me the following question. “Traditionally a girl child is preferred over a boy”. She was answering the True or False questions at the end of her Social Studies Lesson and she did not know the answer. She also may have been shocked to know that such issues existed in her world.

I was curious to know more about the lesson and the way it was taught. It is called “Unpacking Gender – Social Aspects” and there are two chapters devoted to this subject. This book approved by the NCERT Syllabus 2005 is one from “Milestones” which is a series of Social Studies text books for Classes 6, 7 & 8 It is by an author named Joyita Chakrabharti, Social Science Coordinator, Delhi Public School – Noida.

So finally we do have a mention of Gender inequality in our text books. At least there are attempts to bring this issue to light and create awareness. It also talks about female foeticide.

The following are some excerpts:






It concludes by saying that there is a solution with the following text:

The Indian Constitution guarantees equal rights to men and women. The Direct Principles of State Policies are aiming in ensuring equal pay for men as well as women for equal work. The new Inheritance law ensures that sons, daughters and their mother get an equal share in the property. The right to Education ensures education for every boy and girl below the age of 14 years. Government is making efforts to promote education among girls so that they are aware of their rights and are given equal opportunities for progress.

I asked my daughter how this lesson was taught and she said that the male teacher just read it through and his explanation for that was that it is a general subject! Of course it is a tricky subject to be taught by a male from a male oriented society that is in India. He sure must be thinking like the rest of his counter parts:
What is wrong if women are treated second to the men? Haven’t we done it since ages? Doesn’t our religion teach us to do so? He must be also remembering his female colleagues who are teaching alongside him and wondering why they should be complaining. I think for most this subject is totally out of context and doesn’t need to be given much thought. Mainly because he is not seeing the effects personally. The same holds for a part of the female population too.

This also reminds me that today is Mother’s day and I read this article from “The Times of India” that India is a bad place to be a mum.

According to a global survey that looked at where mothers fare best and where they face the greatest hardships, India is ranked a dismal 66th among 71 "less developed countries" — only slightly better than countries like Swaziland, Papua New Guinea and Nigeria.

Is this really true or is it another of those reports to be brushed away?

And a reader comments thus: Madhavi , U.S.A , says: Indian mother is the epitome of love and sacrifice! No mother anywhere in the world can beat the love of an Indian mother. She gives and gives and expects nothing in return. She will forgo food to feed her young. She will go to any length to educate her child even if she is an illiterate. LONG LIVE INDIAN MOTHER!

Isnt this true and isnt this what the majority of Indian mothers are doing. Although I do believe Mother’s all around the globe are no different. They do a lot of sacrifice in these difficult times.

Talking about Indian mothers, she may be educated or uneducated, she may be working or not working, but she has always given the first priority to her family.

With priority comes a sacrifice too. And for working women, it becomes even more difficult since she is expected to work inside her house too. Compared to the mothers working from home (even if she is doing housework she is working since if you had hired a maid you would be paying her), those working outside may have more freedom since she is also earning. But the burden each carries is the same. I can speak for the working since I am working too. Cooking and caring for the children is expected of the mothers since most men don’t know it otherwise. Every women does it, so it why is one person complaining and getting a good maid to help around is not easy for all. But when this burden becomes too high it can lead to serious problems within the family for some.

I am not implying that all men are cruel and offer no help. There are Fathers especially in the Gulf who shares equal or more burden with the mother if the working hours of the wife are erratic. But generally speaking, I would like to agree with the Times of India report.

I guess it would take a while to get things in the right track and for a mother to be truly appreciated in this mad world of ours.

And to end this, I am sure there are many like our own son, who while reading with me the topic on Gender equality, commented thus “Umph – I think the girls are treated better than the boys in the classes” and he gave me examples too. So I should say that things are changing for the better!

Kerala and its ratio

Maddy's comments set me thinking why Kerala has a better ratio though I have no answer as to why the development of the state is not in par. Of course we end up with the answer: because it has high literacy. So is education the key? But then selective abortion has started among the educated Keralites too as per reports.

But yet Kerala is still ahead of the rest of the states. Maybe because of the Marumakkathayam system which was prevalent ealier? According to Wikipedia “Marumakkathayam" is a matrilinear system of inheritance followed by castes of Kerala like some Brahmin families (Payanoor Nambootiris)[citation needed] , Ambalavasis, Royal /Nair families, some Ezhavas, upper class Mappilas in Kerala state, south India. It is exceptional in the sense that it was one of the few traditional systems that gave women liberty, and right to property. Under this system, women enjoyed respect, prestige and power. In the matrilinear system, the family lived together in a tharavadu which comprised of a mother, her brothers and younger sisters, and her children. The oldest male member was known as the karanavar and was the head of the household and managed the family estate. Lineage was traced through the mother, and the children "belonged" to the mother's family. All family property was jointly owned. In the event of a partition, the shares of the children were clubbed with that of the mother. The karanavar's property was inherited by his nephews and not his sons.

Here the most important aspect to be noted is that a woman was given liberty and right to property. She enjoyed respect, prestige and power while at the same time the oldest male member was the head of the household.

Then again another point is that due to the education imparted , the Kerala girls are able to earn for themselves. They were ready to go beyond their own states and even to other coutries (Gulf, US etc) to support their families. I guess this made them an asset rather than a liablity and hence they were let to live!

The poor Girl child...

We had an interesting discussion on the government incentive for “Girl child”. This scheme looks like a good step but then there always the other side of it..and though it sounds brash, don’t we all feel like doing what Raj is suggesting?

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Of course, it would be nice if some (real) effort was made in educating the population about these issues. I just think it is sad to have to bribe the parents for letting a girl child live.
If I could have it my way, I would wait till the parents apply for the REWARD (sheesh) gather them all together, take the kids from them and shoot these bloody pathetic pricks.


and this was the comment from KK

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stupid concepts we have in our country.

For every damn thing in our country we need to give soaps, subsidies or bribes..whatever you call it...

for farmers, you waive 60,000 crore worth of loans...you could keep aside at least one crore to educate farmers on better farming techniques, for creating new markets....

for the girl child, you want to pay for every child leading to crores and crores of rupees to swindle for this government and many more to come...you could try getting tough on dowry seekers....you could instead get the females more secured high paying jobs which will show the society even women can be better bread earners. You could try educating the new generation youth of the villages that women are progressing...

You could do a million things to secure a better future...

you know what Jayalalitha did for the girl child?
I think it was a novel idea...she launched a scheme to place a cradle in every district, town and village of Tamil Nadu and told the people..don't kill the child..leave her in the cradle and the government will take care of it......

Let us hope for the best...

It is happy news indeed.

In an effort to set right the country’s skewed gender ratio, Women and Child Development Minister Renuka Chowdhary today launched a ‘Conditional cash Transfer for Girl Child with Insurance Cover (CCT)’ scheme here

I really pray that the government machinery will perform without any hitch to get this through.

India will pay families to have girls to end foeticide

Highlights:

Families in seven states are set to benefit from a series of cash payments amounting to 15,500 rupees (£193) to poor families to keep their girl children.

As an extra incentive any girl who reaches 18 will get a further 100,000 rupees (£1,200) provided she has completed her school education and is not married.

Of course this will not solve all the problems since as reported, in states like Punjab, it is the rich who selectively abort female fetus and the poor are just copying them. So for this, the government is considering giving life sentences to doctors convicted of the offence.

This and that..

Indrani Ghose commented that we are back to slave trade and that brought to my mind the human trading that still exists in our modern civilization. The trading of grooms. Earlier it was the beauty of the girl that set the price but now the credentials of the bride doesn’t matter at all. Let her be beautiful, educated or whatever, only the groom matters. In Kerala, I think a Doctor (with specialization and not MBBS) still fetches the highest price. The only reason why some are willing to spend half a crore or more to secure admission to a medical college. But in the Middle East it works the other way round. The groom needs to pay for the bride which should bring solace to those in India!



The dowry system in India still remains the greatest evil to marriage. As it is, there is a growing hatred towards marriage from the current generation and some of them prefer to have live-in relationships instead. With the increase in income, they can afford to move out from their own family and live a life they deem is comfortable. I am not saying that marriage is all roses and honey, not when I sometimes feel like Jack the Ripper in my mind, ripping the head of you know who? But it is the best one for now, unless one believes that a planet like K-Pax really exists. I am sure some of you remember the movie starred by Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges. Prot, the man who claims to have come from K-Pax says that they don’t have marriages in K-Pax. They all belong to one big society or planet. One may father a child but it does not belong to him since the child will be brought up by everyone. It may sound great, but Prot himself points out that at K-Pax no one misses anyone. I guess marriage and later a family is all about looking out for each other. A baby sitting facility can never do the same job of a parent, how much strong the commitment is. In a family, you have your parents and your siblings to look out for you and care for you. You have that unique sense of belonging which only a family set up can give you. To get this and more if it requires a license from the society, then it is worth it. But the current society which includes me doesn’t have the patience to try out this system which has survived for centuries.

This also brings to my mind the growing impatience with child rearing. I know of many couples who have aborted their babies since they were either not ready or they have a first one and the second came sooner. They don’t mind spending their money on themselves but spending on their child becomes a burden.

Talking of abortion takes me yet again to female foeticide and I appreciate the effort done by Roop Rai at Unchaahi: the Unwanted .

Education is what we need against this evil.

The unwanted Girl Child

India is developing they say… at least it has the right not to be called a third world country.. or am I wrong?

Just because we have elected a female as our President has it in anyway uplifted the women. Is it not just an eye wash?

a. Female foetuses are still being killed
b. Dowry deaths still exists

The other day I read the news that bags of body parts belonging to female foetus were found dumped in a well. I waited for further news and hoped the media would keep up the tempo. But no.. it died a premature death by itself. Why is the whole country silent on this? How do they hope to produce sons without letting a girl live? Or have our great scientists come with some great plans which can do away with the mother and her womb? It is indeed sad to note that it is the educated lot who are doing this. Why? As a mother don’t they feel bad when their baby is crushed to death in the womb? Let us leave the uneducated for a moment and look at those educated couples who are now enjoying good jobs with high salaries. What prompts them to choose a boy over a girl? What are they being taught in classes? Where has it gone wrong?

I think we need stricter and sterner rules. A couple who goes for abortion should be booked for murder. I welcome the idea of registration as soon as a child is conceived so that the birth can be recorded. At least it puts pressure on the couple. The state should find means to monitor every clinic and hospitals and the fees for scanning should be increased. In any case it is only rarely that a medical condition requires scanning (at least this is what I think) or the equipment should be made very costly so that only major hospitals can have the same. This will help monitoring easier. A special license should be given to doctors who are allowed to conduct abortions.

I still don’t know for what reasons abortion is required. There are many justifications – rape, unwanted pregnancy etc. etc. We end up aborting innocent babies for our faults, for our irresponsibility’s. If a child has been conceived, it has every right to live and it is up to every law in the country to ensure the life of the unborn.

Our Presidents don’t wield much power or they have no power at all. But this is the first time that we have a woman for a president. I hope she will at least do something on this major issue that is slowly dulling the conscience of the major lot. Please let the girl child live

X & Y Chromosome

The other day we ended up having a heated discussion on a forum. One forum member had commented on a newspaper report: how a husband killed his wife since she failed to produce a male child. I made the mistake of commenting that a man is responsible in determining the gender. I realized my mistake when the male members became so touchy and nervous! What I actually meant to write was that the woman has no role to play while it is from the man that the gender is decided. Of course even he cannot decide either, unless technology progress in such a way that the particular chromosome is isolated to produce the required gender.
I guess God was smart when he made it thus but I am sure he never thought that a man / woman would be so cruel as to kill a baby in its womb itself.
I am talking about the disturbing number of female foetus being killed in India. Soon in some states the gender ratio will be so bad that every girl would need to be protected by a black cat. Eve teasing would increase (there r less girls to ogle at!).. and maybe like the Arab culture boys will finally have to pay for a bride!