Rumble of Thoughts

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I am over 40

Unless I am filling an application or am with a doctor or a lawyer, I need not disclose where exactly this 40 stands, not unless I reach 50!

For women, life starts at 40. At least for me this is true. This is when she is the most confident and I would not trade this age with any other age, not even the teens. Of course, if one had the same self confidence then your teens or your twenties would be nice. But it is seldom so. You are so full of doubts and worries to have self confidence. Not so at 40. This is the age when you accept yourself. No more crying for what will never be yours. No more yearning for stars. This is the age when you wake up and thank for one more day. This is the age when you stop to smell the flowers.

This is the age when you have that all elusive quality; patience! During my growing up years, it was patience that I lacked most. I was that girl always worried that life would pass away if I don’t grab it. On a car ride, one wanted to reach the destination and failed to enjoy the ride. And after a while life did pass in slow motion and all one could do was watch as a spectator. But after 40, one starts enjoying the slowness. One also starts appreciating others. One realizes that everyone is doing what they know to be is the best. It may be higher or lower than the standards that you keep, but they are doing what they can.

Though I am over 40, I have not moved a single year beyond 30 :). This is another paradox of life. My MIL is 83 years old, but in her mind she has never moved beyond 40. At times, it scares me and sometimes it fascinates me. She is seldom satisfied with her appearance and is very happy to preen in front of the mirror. She will never pass by a mirror without admiring herself. Yes..I may find myself in her shoes (not the obsession with looks though) if I ever come anywhere close by to that age.
After 40, one can be also more bitchy! This is one area where you should keep watch. With self confidence comes the urge to say what comes in your mind. It could be the truth but it can hurt.

Here is to every woman over 40…. Enjoy your days and never think you are a day older than 30.. not until you are ready to face your maker.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Love them

Our neighbor’s daughter keeps visiting us whenever she can. She is going to be 2 years and is a very smart and loving girl. She was brought up by her grandparents since her mother came back to Kuwait after her birth. She joined her parents only recently. It is great to have her around but the other day only I was in the house since my children had gone for tuitions and hubby to cut his hair. I tried entertaining her but she was much attached to my daughter whom she missed. And then while I was sitting next to her, she took a cushion, placed it on her stretched legs and made me place my head on it. Then she started gently tapping me and saying “ba ba”.. It was such a happy moment for me. Later when I tried placing a chain on her, she removed it and wanted to dress me up! She is rightly named “Jewel” and she is being looked after like a precious jewel. Her mother leaves her with me only when she is tied up with some housework. Since I have passed that stage, I am aware how hectic it can be for her. But somehow these days my thoughts refuse to leave Afreen. As you might know she left this world which failed to love her.

Being a mother to a daughter, I know how loving they are. They need just a bit of love to blossom. They need only a bit of love to return the love in manifold. They would even be ready to die for you.

Even Afreen would have grown up the same way. But she was not allowed to. My heart cries for little ones like her who are born in the wrong place and into wrong hands. My heart weeps for her mother, who must have tried her best. I saw her crying yesterday and hope her tears won’t be in vain. The nation needs to act for future Afreens. There is no way we can hope that such monsters will not do their act. They have already been given birth are in this world and must be getting ready to marry, to hope for boys, to hope for a huge dowry and hoping to kill until they get what they want.

In India, we have the The National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR):

The National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) emphasises the principle of universality and inviolability of child rights and recognises the tone of urgency in all the child related policies of the country. For the Commission, protection of all children in the 0 to 18 years age group is of equal importance.

This commission acts when they receive complaints on behalf of a child. I am sure Afreen’s mother was not in a position to complain or she did not know where to seek help. It is time this commission made every parent register as soon as a baby is born into this world. The Panchayat needs to keep track of these children too. I am sure there are enough funds. The commission also need to place cradles in every panchayat so that such unwanted babies are not killed. Maybe it is time the government started foster homes like those found in the US. From the cradles they can go into those who hope to adopt them.

There are many schemes under NCPCR one being the The Integrated Child Protection Scheme (ICPS) All States and UTs except J&K have signed MoU to implement ICPS.

They also have monitoring schemes:

Monitoring Formats for ICPS

1. Monitoring Formats for the Central Level Monitoring

2. Monitoring Formats for the State Level Monitoring

3. Explanatory Notes

4. Online Submission of Monitoring Reports

They also have a childline service.

CHILDLINE SERVICE

This Govt. of India launched Childline Service during the year 1998-99. The child line is a 24 hours free phone service, which can be accessed by a child in distress or an adult on his behalf by dialing the number 1098 on telephone. Child line provides emergency assistance to a child and subsequently based upon the child’s need, the child is referred to an appropriate organization for long-term follow up and care.

The Kerala state has also done much in this aspect under the KERALA STATE COUNCIL FOR CHILD WELFARE.

Other than the various programs for women and child they also have a Creche Programne which takes care of children.

CRECHE PROGRAMME

The Kerala State Council for Child Welfare took on the task of setting up crèches for children of working and ailing mothers from the lower socio economic strata of society in 1975. The programme caters to children between the age group of 0-3 yerars. There are 250 creches under the control of the Council, financed by Indian council for Child Welfare These crèches serve the purpose of providing a safe, secure and healthy environment to babies, allowing older children to attend school instead of dropping out, for taking care of sibling and helping mothers to work as they are assured of the safety of their children. The services provided in these crèches include health care, supplementary nutrition, immunisation recreation as well as non formal education. A maximum of 25 children are taken care in each crèche by a trained crèche worker and a helper.

They also have electronic cradles. This needs to be in every state.

SUPPORTIVE SERVICES OF KERALA STATE COUNCIL FOR CHILD WELFARE

ELECTRONIC CRADLE

Every Child has a right to live. Unfortunate occasions (!) compel persons to discard their babies. Such abandonment in public unhygienic places threaten their lives. To save these kids Council have established an Electronic Cradle (Ammathottil) on 14th November 2002. Now there are Electronic Cradles in all the districts in Kerala.

These babies if lucky might find a good and loving home from adoption centres. One such called Journeys of the Heart Adoption Services sources kids from India.

Journeys of the Heart Adoption Services (JOH) is passionate about adoption – we truly believe that adoption is a win-win situation for the child and the adopting parents and playing a role in it is a tremendous joy

Let the girl child live. She will never let you down.

Edited to add:

Maxwell Pereira, a former Joint Commissioner of Police for the New Delhi Range of the Capital City, says that female infanticide happens at a larger scale in affluent societies than in underprivileged neighborhoods.

“In Delhi, again South Delhi has the highest percentage”, he said in an interview with CNN IBN