Sunday, April 26, 2009

Motherhood... a never ending journey...

Have been tagged by Smitha and IHM; both versatile bloggers and great Moms, to write about motherhood. Let me try and do some justice.

Motherhood…. the word that has the most warmth and hopefulness.

Nothing else in this world can change a person and the world overnight! At first it is the excitement of waiting eagerly to see what one has produced [of course jointly :)]. And can one be blamed if one sees it as the perfect creation? My sonogram taken only since the doctor requested, predicted 90% boy child and hence we were totally surprised and delighted to find our first born to be a girl.

When one embarks upon the journey of motherhood, you want everything to go perfectly. This child should feel nothing wanting; not if one can help it. You strive to be a better mother than your own... and can we ever be? Ah..from there starts the incredible journey of discovering your own mother/father in bits and pieces.

My mother was at home for me but that luxury was something I had to forgo. But then I never wanted to be a stay at home mother until I became a mother! Strange?

The endless burping that kept the little one awake after I fed her.. was it all those oranges that I sneaked in since only a glass of water was allowed? (to tighten one’s stomach they say and with no internet nor my own mother, I was under the mercy of the midwife!)

The first day of work and you have to leave your precious with the maid. I dreaded it and would have done anything to change it.

The endless phone calls with the exasperated maid (and countless thereafter that we had to experiment with) . Can’t I just trust them?

The days flew too fast until we discovered by accident that the next one was due soon! (And was it not for “accidents” we would have never gone for the second and hence would have missed the next bundle of joy!)

The sneaked in kisses to the little one who came in a little too early, so as not to offend our first born. Was it jealousy that I saw on her face? How it hurt me to see that look on her face. How could I ever make her understand that she was equally precious to me? And this task continues; the mystery of sibling rivalry shall never be solved they say. Sometimes they purposely use it to test us.

Then you discover that you daughter just like yourself thinks her father is the perfect one. I pray that she, just like her own mother will do her very best for her dear father. As for son; he knows how to make a fool of both the parents. And after a while you surrender your “know all” attitude and offer “pranam”. Yea we have to grow up and change in time with the kids.

So before I go on and on endlessly let me list the few things that I can remember and love about motherhood, if I have not already stated them!

• It is the most life changing event. Nothing prepares one for it but once you get the little one in your hands then motherhood comes to you naturally. All those tiny doubts vanish and you are left with entirely new ones which you never fathomed!

• If one needs to understand the Almighty then motherhood / fatherhood is the best school. Your kids teach you the true meaning of unconditional love. While we as parents also give unconditional love, showing it is not equally spontaneous ( reminds me yet again to demonstrate the love that I have for them). As for one’s faith.. if one has not developed it along with the ups and downs of motherhood then I think nothing else can do it so well.

• Do you cry in front of strangers? Yes.. motherhood makes you to do that. Motherhood exposes one’s vulnerability and there is nothing that you can do about it. You are capable of emotions (even anger) in an entirely new way. You take interest in every event/article that maybe remotely connected with your children.

• Dreams….you stop dreaming for yourself, and pick up your children’s dreams. (not a good practice?) The dreams can vary as years go by. Son wanted to be a police Inspector until the recent Bombay massacre. Then it was the army or a fighter pilot. As for daughter, we have no idea from where she picked up the idea of Indian Civil Service.. but we keep hearing lofty dreams. “Can I keep those roads perfect if I become a “Collector”?” “I shall ban all the cigarette companies if I become a “Collector”” ah.. If only she knew! Our textbooks, schools and our country have not failed to inspire our children, if only we could keep those flames alive. I dream for my children a country devoid of corruption and where our youngsters will not turn cynical and where their dreams are not quashed.

• Politics was Greek to me and a subject I abhorred until motherhood forced me to look into it. I realized that my children’s future is entwined with the politics and economics of my country and I started paying attention to dear Hubby. Now, the news channel is what gets my most attention!

• Motherhood/parenthood makes one finally understand your parents. Your parents become more precious to you.

Over the years we always wish we could have done it differently! The quest for perfect mothering never ends…...


  1. A life-changing event, a word that has the most warmth, something that makes you take interest in things that interest your children, the quest for perfect motherhood never ends...

    Only a mother can say all that you have said. Fathers mostly don't go through as many changes and emotions; of course exceptions are there. It is a blessing indeed to be a parent.

  2. as I said in Smitha's blog, Moms are the best!!!!!! :)

  3. Wow!!! You've said it so beautifully!!! I can relate to everything you've said here.. Esp -' Dreams….you stop dreaming for yourself, and pick up your children’s dreams' As soon as I read it - I was like - yes - that's it!!
    And yes, the quest for perfect mothering never ends!! That was such a wonderful read!! These mommy tags are great, aren't they? I just love reading and doing them :)

  4. Motherhood makes you do crazy stuff. It makes you cry in front of strangers, it makes you jump mud puddles with your child, it even makes you roll in the grass and giggle like a 5 year old.

    I never understood the joys which other spoke of till I became one of them.

    Beautifully written HK!

  5. Vinod: I guess mothers get more reasons / occasion to be connected to their children and hence the Father could be left out..

    It is indeed a blessing to be a parent.

  6. Ajit: Hope you have conveyed this to your mother as often as possible:)

    Smitha: Thanks..
    then they say one should not stop dreaming for oneself too :)

    Solilo: Thanks..
    Motherhood is a joyful experience... but then making it equally joyful for the children is a hard task:)

  7. "Politics was Greek to me and a subject I abhorred until motherhood forced me to look into it."
    This was a change I also noticed Happy Kitten, without realising.

    And I stopped being embarrassed by sudden tears, feeling mushy is a part being mothers :)

    "Nothing else in this world can change a person and the world overnight! " so well said!! Motherhood makes us more responsible, courageous and unselfish...

    I read somewhere, "God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers." We realise it fully when we have our own kids.


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