Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Today it is me...and tomorrow you...

Death affects you, how much ever you try to remain stoic. It forces you to look more deeply to this life that we live, knowing well that this life and so also these feelings about death are only fleeting.

There has been three very important men in my life; my Father, my FIL (Achayan) and my Hubby and one of them has left this earthly abode. It is from them that I have learned to understand, love and respect the men folk.

Our Achayan passed away in his sleep early morning of 17th of February. Hubby was with him in the palliative care centre until 10:30 PM, the previous night. It was my MIL along with the home nurse who was staying the night. Soon after coming home, Hubby called me and shared the day’s events. But he also started crying while seated on his Father’s favourite easy chair. He said he imagined Achayan walking through the gate. Coincidently, it was at the same time that Achayan breathed his last in the hospital. Being the youngest, he was much attached to his Father and his death has affected him a lot. I consoled him and asked him to get some sleep. We were still up here in Kuwait and the next call at 11:30 PM or so sounded ominous and I knew in my heart that the news was going to be bad. It was my Hubby calling to inform that Achayan had passed away at 1:05 AM and that he was proceeding to the hospital. A few days back, one of his relations asked Hubby if there were any birthdays or such other occasion in the family. Upon enquiring why, he said that recently he has been seeing deaths happen on these occasions and he asked Hubby to be prepared. And true to his prediction, Achayan died on our wedding anniversary. Call it a quirk of fate or a loving Father’s good bye to those who loved him a lot. The funeral was held on 20th and me and kids were able to attend it. It was a blessed occasion and all whom Achayan cared for, were there to bid him good bye.

It would be our desire to have our loved ones beside us as many years as possible but I guess God has His own plans and we can do nothing but accept it. But we are thankful that Achayan was spared from pain and discomfort, and the days that he lived on this earth, he lived it in his own terms.


  1. That was touchy.
    I had known from what you had written to me that he was suffering.As a doctor,death is nothing strange to me.I am not even called for uneventful deaths at the hospital.
    Still,when it happens in own family,it is different.I have witnessed the pain and suffering of many.You Achayan was blessed in a way.He had his children to take care of him.It is understandable if a person dies at old age,leaving his children behind.It is more painful for those who are unfortunate to witness the death of own children.
    Strange are His ways,and who are we to try to understand his choices !

    My heart felt condolences.

  2. God's Will.
    May his soul rest in peace.

  3. Truly sorry to know this.
    My sincere condolences!

  4. I am so very sorry for your and your family's loss. Please accept my sincere condolences.

    It must be a little comfort that your FIL passed away peacefully in his sleep.

  5. Sorry for the loss.

    Do pass on my condolences to K when he calls.

  6. A peaceful death ! How many of us we mortals can be lucky?

  7. Really sorry to hear about this. Just as we come, we all go. We just need to accept God's will. I am sure Achayan had a full life, making his contribution to this world and its people. Blessed are those who pass peacefully. My condolences.

  8. Dr: Yes.. it gives a lot of pain if the death is untimely. Even time may not heal the wounds.
    But as a doctor, even after witnessing so many deaths, is it not amazing that you still feel pain?

    Mirage, BKC, Indrani, Manju, KK, Anil and Swarna.. Thanks a lot for the kind words.

    Swarna: Achayan had a good life until cancer started troubling him, beginning of last year. But then we are grateful that he was spared from pain.

    KK: K returned after the holidays and is here in Kuwait

    Anil: Yes.. even I wonder if one shall ever have such a death!

  9. Sad to hear that... that is a family loss... may his soul rest in peace

  10. prayers and flowers for your achayan

  11. It is only when I rcv the comments that I realize that I have been neglecting this blog.. nd today I did the unthinkable! While publishing a few comments, I somehow deleted many. Have no idea how to bring it back and I feel sad!

    Anish, Maddy and Rocksea: Thank you for your kind words...


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