Thursday, November 8, 2012



1 boy is equal to 8 girls


A heated discussion between a few men, since a to-be FIL was putting up unnecessary demands. Normally this is the job of the groom’s father but here the tables were turned. The men were trying to instill some sense of pride and courage upon this would-be groom who seems to be already trembling under the FIL. How can it be allowed? It is a man’s world and one needs to show these lower folks their places!

The person who uttered that 1 boy is equal to 8 girls is a Father to two lovely girls! I guess how much they deny, in their hearts every parent craves for a boy child. And the boys, while they grow up, imbibe from the society a pride in being a boy while the girl does the opposite. She grows with a sense of inferiority complex which destroys her. She becomes weak when she is required to be strong.

But why am I writing this here? Because I did not confront him when he uttered it and hence lost a golden opportunity to vent my anger.

But if you thought only India was home to such horrors, look at the following from the most forward country (so they think) in the world!

In US Currently, a woman makes 77 cents to each dollar a man earns.

On November 17th, the Paycheck Fairness Act went to the Senate for vote. The bill would have provided “improvement and modifications” to the Equal Pay Act of 1963. President Obama called it a common sense bill. Nonetheless, it failed to pass due to an overwhelming surge of Republican opposition. Democrats voted 56:1 in favor, while Republicans went 1:40 against it.

To mourn the death of the Paycheck Fairness Act, check out our homage to some of the more ridiculous laws regarding women on the books. Hopefully, some will soon be repealed. Let’s just not send them to Congress to do so

1. In Maryland, a woman cannot go through her husband’s pockets while he is sleeping. Not even if she really wants a piece of gum.

2. In Vermont, a woman must obtain written permission from her husband if she wishes to wear false teeth. Because women really lead with their teeth in wanton, uncontrolled sexuality.

3. In Tucson, Arizona, women are not allowed to wear pants. No word on the stance on booty shorts or thongs.

4. In Carrizozo, New Mexico, it is illegal for a woman to appear unshaven in public. Rejoice, razor industry, rejoice!

5. In Dyersburg, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to call a man on a date. I don’t want to live in a world where equal-opportunity drunk dialing isn’t free to all.

6. In Carmel, New York, women may not wear high heels within the city limits. They are obviously just protecting their citizens, as this move effectively disqualifies the city from ever letting a “Sex and the City” sequel to be shot in their town. Good move, Carmel!

7. In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her hair without her husband’s permission. But what if her husband cuts it for her?

But then we saw how the Republican's lost the presidential election because of the their foolish utterance on rape and women in general. Obama got votes from more women than men. The Guardian explains it well.

The ancient Greece was worse; it seems a woman would be executed if she ever saw an Olympic event!

In the Iliad, in the Olympic-like funeral games for Patroclus, you can read how important it was to be the best. Those who won were expected to be the best even before winning: Entering the contest if you weren't the best (kalos k'agathos 'beautiful and best') was unacceptable. Women, foreigners, and slaves were not considered to be tops in arete 'virtue' -- what made them best.
Greek Philosophy on the Inferiority of Women 
The two most influential philosophers, both in the Graeco-Roman world into which Christianity was born and in the world of Christian theology of the Middle Ages, were Plato and Aristotle. We will briefly discuss the views of each.

In Greek society, women's status was very low. A woman's main function was the reproduction of children, especially of sons.
Plato's attitude to women was ambivalent. In some of his writings he advocated a fairer deal for women. In his idealised Republic he foresees an upperclass of ‘guardians’ among whom the chattel status of women is abolished (i.e. she is no longer owned by her husband) and in which women were to receive equal education to men.

On the other hand, he ascribed the inferior status of women clearly to a degeneration from perfect human nature. “It is only males who are created directly by the gods and are given souls. Those who live rightly return to the stars, but those who are ‘cowards or [lead unrighteous lives] may with reason be supposed to have changed into the nature of women in the second generation’. This downward progress may continue through successive reincarnations unless reversed. In this situation, obviously it is only men who are complete human beings and can hope for ultimate fulfilment; the best a woman can hope for is to become a man” (Plato, Timaeus 90e).
According to Aristotle, man rightly takes charge over woman, because he commands superior intelligence. This will also profit the women who depend on him. He compares this to the relationship between human beings and tame animals.
‘It is the best for all tame animals to be ruled by human beings. For this is how they are kept alive. In the same way, the relationship between the male and the female is by nature such that the male is higher, the female lower, that the male rules and the female is ruled.’ Aristotle, Politica, ed. Loeb Classical Library, 1254 b 10-14.

India’s most famous early legal code, The Laws of Manu were complied over the years between 200 - 400 C.E. While the position of women in early Vedic India had been good, these laws illustrate the efforts of the Brahmin elite to restrict women’s legal independence in this later period.
  • “Women must always be honored and respected by the father, brother, husband and brothers-in-law who desire their own welfare.”
  • “If the female members live in grief, the family is destroyed. If the female members are happy, the family flourishes in all directions.”
  • “Women shall receive one-quarter share of the inheritance of their parents. If a man has no sons, his daughter may inherit everything he had.”
  • “Brothers should give one-forth of their inheritance to their sisters for their sisters’ dowries.”
  • “In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, and when her lord is dead, to her sons; a woman must never be independent.”
  • “A father sins unless he marries his daughter off when she reaches puberty.” (no wonder the Khaps very recently echoed the same!)
  • “Women do not care for beauty, nor is their attention fixed on age; they give themselves to the handsome as well as to the ugly just for the fact that he is a man.”
  • “A husband should be worshiped as a God.”
  • “Even in the home nothing should be done by a child, a young or even an old wife (woman) independently.”
  • “A wife, a son, and a slave, these three are declared to have no property. The wealth which they earn is acquired for him to whom they belong.”
  • “Women, shudra (or sudra, lowest of four castes), dog and crow embody untruth, sin and darkness.”
  • “Women must particularly be guarded against evil inclinations, however trifling they may appear to be; for, if they are not guarded, they will bring sorrow on both the families. Considering it the highest duty of all castes, even wealthy husbands must strive to guard their wives....lest the seed of others be sown on your soil.”
  • “It is the nature of women to seduce men in this world, for that reason the wise never remain unguarded in the company of female.”
  • “A woman should not go to a meeting place; and they should not dance like the young, but sit at their proper places.”
  • “This is the first law...A wife cannot be dismissed from the marriage by a slave, separation or abdication.”

    “A man can leave a barren woman after eight years and one who only gives birth to daughters.”
  • “A virtuous wife who after the death of her husband constantly remains chaste, reaches heaven, though she have no son, just like those chaste men.”
  • “If a woman should happen to merely to overhear recitations of Vedic mantras by chance, hot molten glass should be poured into her ears.”

The roots of the Judeo-Christian sexual prohibitions, as well as the sexual prohibitions of religions such as Islam, spring from ancient Jewish tribal law. During early times wives were considered "property" and laws were specifically codified to protect three things: livestock, wives and dwellings--an order or importance that seems clear in Jewish law.

The Christian church still treats women second to man. There are many rules that bind her from birth to death that makes her different from a boy. Not that every household follows these rules. But it is in the subconscious mind and comes forth when needed! If I die tomorrow I can only be buried in the Church that my husband belongs to and never in my Parent’s church. Parents unconsciously pushes the girl child away from them as soon as she is capable of standing up. Since she will never belong to them it is better to train oneself early in life!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.


  2. HI, I'm re-posting this as I noticed a few errors in the earlier comment.

    That is candid assessment of the past and the present male psyche.
    It is revelation to me that the Greek philosophers you mentioned were prejudiced.
    Well the unfair deal to women has been practiced transcending culture, society and faith. Though the inheritance in the erstwhile Travancore favoured women, the custom of women not being allowed to cover their bosoms was very phobic.
    I feel that the physical prowess and brawn man generally have, has been disposed by Nature and has made man arrogant in his attitude to woman.

    The statistics and references on the over the board attitudes in the USA are not worth commenting. There, the husband and alternately the wife too can sue for divorce if the partner has noisy respiration in sleep.

    I always wanted a girl child, but the first one born was a boy and made me not less loving and when the second child a girl was born it was equally euphoric. I just do not understand the rage against girl child. Perhaps economics are at play.

    As for the earnings of women, well even in the elite Tennis pro circuits women are paid less than men. Why?
    It is just natural that you have the vile and the noble among both man and woman. A Matahari or a Marie Antoinette cannot lessen the evil that was Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin or a Pol Pot. A Mother Teresa was no less noble than Father Damien.

    The good thing is that economic betterment and education has gradually eroded the old misconception and bias, be it in the Christian world or elsewhere in the developing and developed societies. But the life of women is in darkness and shrouded perpetually in veil in the Islamic faith. And claims that the scriptures have it so are not a panacea and will not purchase.
    Will the Vatican accept a revelation from history that Jesus Christ was married or was betrothed to Mary Magdalene? Certainly no, the guise of belief and faith will be used, an apparent male chauvinism and avoid iconoclasm.

    Mary Roy (Arundati Roy’s mother) was defiled and vilified by the male dominated Christian society in Kerala when she went to the Supreme Court and got a definite ruling against the discrimination towards Christian woman in inheritance. The respected News Paper and conscience keepers of journalism in Kerala , “Malayala Mnorama”even brought out an editorial rebuking the court ruling and Ms. Mary Roy.
    Honestly we do not have to go the America to see covert and overt male supremacy.

    Lastly but foremost, I salute you again for the wonderful points and statistics you compiled to emphasize your argument. Surely one must bemoan the loss for journalism.

  3. Yes.. in Kerala the marumakathayam did favor the women of certain caste but then as you pointed out many women were left out of this. But this was due to the casteism and it was not just the women who suffered under it.

    I did not know that even in Tennis pro circuits women are paid less than men! Strange.. they put in the same energy and dedication.

    Currently one may point out the women in Islam but I think the other religion are no better. Maybe in a more subtle manner though.

    The only favor Vatican has done is the veneration of mother Mary, whereas Joseph is ignored completely.

    Education should have done much more.. so I think education alone is not enough.. it needs a complete change of mindset.. it is not easy.

    Mary Roy was a puli! Malayalam Manorma is still the same. I remember the late Kochuthresiama's lament against it in case of obituary column. She wrote that "The dead person’s sons in law’s family name can be mentioned but not the daughters –in-laws' . Read it here :

    Thank you once again for the encouragement. Much appreciated, though I doubt any journalist in the current scenario can really be free to write his/her mind. Even a tweet is enough to land you in jail!

  4. nd sadly only today I found that in her blog someone named Ginu had taken objection to my comment on the same. Wish I had seen it earlier. So have a look at the current mallu generation :) nothing has changed!

  5. In today's times I believe that boy and girl are different..physically and emotionally and treated so, they should be given equal opportunities and everything, but I dont condone the feminists who are breaking families for individual's benefit or even not a benefit just an me family is supreme..nothing comes before that..

    1. Renu: equal treatment.. this will solve many problems. Feminism is not breaking homes.. that is a weak reaction! I myself have seen how a single female can break the relationship between the members of an entire family. I blv this comes out of insecurity. and this is also imbibed from the society. Once you start treating the girl equally she will be more confident to face this life and will not resort to cheap actions. She will be more strong to rise up to any occasion and keep the members of the family together.

  6. I too fail to understand the rage against girl child. Like Anil said, may be it's economics. May be it's the stereotype which the parents are passively accepting.

    Too many '-isms', only complicate matters, be it feminism or anything else. Basically we need to begin by treating boys and girls as human beings. Two, we need to accept that boys and girls are different from each other... Each having their own strenghts and weaknesses -- partly because of nature (hormones), partly because of nurture (societal influences). Let men not try to become women, and women become men!

    It's important for men and women to get equal opportunities in every facet of life. Let there be NO discrimination merely on the basis of gender.

    I guess, a lot of people need to get these basics right.


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